This may be a bit heathenistic, but I’m not really a big fan of Christmas. Instead, my favorite time of the year is Fringe time!
And hey, there is lots of spiritual stuff in here, so it sort of gives me some heaven points.
This year . . . so far (it’s not quite over yet!) I have learned about Jewish kids camps, feminism, old cranky people, bad dialogue, the life of a famous showgirl in the 1950’s, that you can hip-hop to Spanish guitar, bus 24 is highly unreliable, and that there is no such thing as an ugly duck.
Here are my top 3:
1. So Kiss Me Already, Hershel Gertz. Funny. Clever. Poignant. A Jewish kid gets sent to Jewish kids camp and has some problems there. Very good. Check out a clip here.
2. Flamenco Con Fusion 2. Picture this. Some amazing guy on a Spanish Guitar. One (very passionate-less and uncomfortable looking, unfortunately) flamenco dancer, plus one hip-hop sassy teen. Perfection. Watch a clip here.
3. You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown. Its been a dream of mine to see this on stage, so even if its performed by 10 year olds I will for surely check it out. I was impressed with these kids. Lucy was amazing – she’s such a jerk! I love it! It made me ponder today whether I will be able to watch Charlie Brown and other things like it in heaven. I doubt it, but that thought makes me so sad. It is so clever and so innocent and teaches me so many things everytime I watch or read it. Perfection. Clip!
Anyway, that’s it. Oh, and I also watched Lady in the Water yesterday. Its good – I recommend it.
Later,
The Fringe Fanatic
Friday, July 28, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
oprah and bikinis
I’m growing. In unexpected ways.
There are a few things that I have done in the past little while which I swore I would never do. Here is a list:
1. Eat a Rotton Egg Jellybean.
2. Buy a bikini
3. Live in a basement
4. Like Martha Stewart
5. Fall in love with the Oprah Magazine.
Number 5 surprises me the most. I’m not a big Oprah fan, but her magazine, I would like to tell everybody, is stellar. Very good content, inspirational stories, thinkpieces, serious consideration of women and equality issues. I highly recommend it. The only thing I don’t like is the cover. Oh, and there is a certain amount of inconsistency with some of the articles . . . Such as having a story on body self-hatred which attacks society and corporate media for “decree(ing) what we should look like," when 15 pages later it has a section called “How Not to Look Fat in a Swimsuit.” Hmm . . .
Anyway, I have copied a section of the article which has impacted my life. Copyright info is below. Please don’t sue me, Oprah.
“Body hatred has been defined as a personal problem. But it is a social problem, a poilitical problem, a cultural problem. It is not accidental or incidental. It is induced, injected, and programmed. We Americans like to tell ourselves we are free, but we are imprisioned. We are controlled by a corporate media that decrees what we should look like and then determines what we have to buy in order to get and keep that look. We are controlled by our mother’s idea of how we are supposed to look, and our father’s idea. We are controlled by other women’s ideas. . . .
The antidote to body hatred is social activism and community. None of us alone is strong enough to stand up to the daily onslaught of propaganda, imagery, programming, seduction, and mind control. But as a group we can shift and lift the tyranny. Resisting this ideology requires support. It requires a movement. No diet, no surgery will fix the problem. It is collective, pervasive, and ongoing.
Hating one’s body is an all-consuming occupation and a dangerous distraction. It is an addiction. As we spend our days focusing on our thighs and butts, thousands die in Iraq, 37 million live below the poverty line in America, more rivers become polluted, more civil liberties disappear, more rights for women are being erased. In our isolated pursuit of thinness or the perfect body, we give up our power, our vision, our rights. We abandon a world that is in desperate need of our attention.”
- Eve Ensler, “Belly Dancing,” Oprah June 2006 216-218
I think it is revolutionary to state that “the antidote to body hatred is social activism and community.” However, I am not sure if that is correct. I am all about focusing not on our bodies, but on our community and helping the oppressed and downtrodden. However, is this a permanent solution to this particular body hatred problem? I think that it can only serve as a distraction to the problem, as it does not address the real issues involved here, including our society’s obsession with physical beauty or manipulation by the media at large.
Thoughts?
There are a few things that I have done in the past little while which I swore I would never do. Here is a list:
1. Eat a Rotton Egg Jellybean.
2. Buy a bikini
3. Live in a basement
4. Like Martha Stewart
5. Fall in love with the Oprah Magazine.
Number 5 surprises me the most. I’m not a big Oprah fan, but her magazine, I would like to tell everybody, is stellar. Very good content, inspirational stories, thinkpieces, serious consideration of women and equality issues. I highly recommend it. The only thing I don’t like is the cover. Oh, and there is a certain amount of inconsistency with some of the articles . . . Such as having a story on body self-hatred which attacks society and corporate media for “decree(ing) what we should look like," when 15 pages later it has a section called “How Not to Look Fat in a Swimsuit.” Hmm . . .
Anyway, I have copied a section of the article which has impacted my life. Copyright info is below. Please don’t sue me, Oprah.
“Body hatred has been defined as a personal problem. But it is a social problem, a poilitical problem, a cultural problem. It is not accidental or incidental. It is induced, injected, and programmed. We Americans like to tell ourselves we are free, but we are imprisioned. We are controlled by a corporate media that decrees what we should look like and then determines what we have to buy in order to get and keep that look. We are controlled by our mother’s idea of how we are supposed to look, and our father’s idea. We are controlled by other women’s ideas. . . .
The antidote to body hatred is social activism and community. None of us alone is strong enough to stand up to the daily onslaught of propaganda, imagery, programming, seduction, and mind control. But as a group we can shift and lift the tyranny. Resisting this ideology requires support. It requires a movement. No diet, no surgery will fix the problem. It is collective, pervasive, and ongoing.
Hating one’s body is an all-consuming occupation and a dangerous distraction. It is an addiction. As we spend our days focusing on our thighs and butts, thousands die in Iraq, 37 million live below the poverty line in America, more rivers become polluted, more civil liberties disappear, more rights for women are being erased. In our isolated pursuit of thinness or the perfect body, we give up our power, our vision, our rights. We abandon a world that is in desperate need of our attention.”
- Eve Ensler, “Belly Dancing,” Oprah June 2006 216-218
I think it is revolutionary to state that “the antidote to body hatred is social activism and community.” However, I am not sure if that is correct. I am all about focusing not on our bodies, but on our community and helping the oppressed and downtrodden. However, is this a permanent solution to this particular body hatred problem? I think that it can only serve as a distraction to the problem, as it does not address the real issues involved here, including our society’s obsession with physical beauty or manipulation by the media at large.
Thoughts?
Monday, July 17, 2006
the jenny's are wailing and they want company
does anybody want to come see the wailin' jennys with me? september 22. $25. Let me know by Wednesday so I can order tickets. right now they are selling second row. :-)
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
it's a new day
this is how i feel today. a mixture of both.
a poem:
But today is going to be different
You can stop the leak when you know where the hole is
Cause a thousand yesterdays have kicked the crap right out of me
But today I'm going to throw a few of my own punches
I'm gonna drink from the living water
I'm gonna eat from the broken bread
And the day I finally get into heaven
Ends the war between my heart and my head
- Miranda Stone
thanks for all of your support during tough times, friends.
bre
a poem:
But today is going to be different
You can stop the leak when you know where the hole is
Cause a thousand yesterdays have kicked the crap right out of me
But today I'm going to throw a few of my own punches
I'm gonna drink from the living water
I'm gonna eat from the broken bread
And the day I finally get into heaven
Ends the war between my heart and my head
- Miranda Stone
thanks for all of your support during tough times, friends.
bre
Friday, July 07, 2006
paralyzed
Where do I begin? I am thinking a lot this week about why I have been so sad lately. What it means. How it affects me, how it affects my family, how it affects my friends. It is a strange place to be in when you do not know exactly who to be. When you do not trust that the real you will actually be welcomed or accepted or at all desired. I asked sarah this week where the line can be drawn between being honest and between testing the patience of your friends.
Another friend this week, wonderfully oblivious of what is going on, lamented to me about her roommate – how she has been sad for so long and how this person doesn’t know what to do or how to deal with it anymore. She was pretty upset about all of this and seemed at the end of her rope. She doesn’t know what to do with her roommate anymore.
Where is the line? I don’t know.
So I feel left with the choice between being a huge burden to the people that I love, and trying their patience, and lying to my friends saying that I am stellar. Which I did to somebody this week. Sorry, friend. I don’t want to drive people away. I don’t want to be an overwhelming burden.
This sounds sort of pathetic. That makes me sad.
Anyway. These are my thoughts. A friend this week said “you want to know who I am? Meet my family.” This has inspired me to say “you want to know who I am? Read my blog.” It has seemed to become a good friend of mine, albeit somewhat unreliable. But I can overlook that.
It has been made painfully aware to me this week that I have a problem giving grace to people. Sorry about that, everybody.
Please don’t put comments on this post.
Bre
Another friend this week, wonderfully oblivious of what is going on, lamented to me about her roommate – how she has been sad for so long and how this person doesn’t know what to do or how to deal with it anymore. She was pretty upset about all of this and seemed at the end of her rope. She doesn’t know what to do with her roommate anymore.
Where is the line? I don’t know.
So I feel left with the choice between being a huge burden to the people that I love, and trying their patience, and lying to my friends saying that I am stellar. Which I did to somebody this week. Sorry, friend. I don’t want to drive people away. I don’t want to be an overwhelming burden.
This sounds sort of pathetic. That makes me sad.
Anyway. These are my thoughts. A friend this week said “you want to know who I am? Meet my family.” This has inspired me to say “you want to know who I am? Read my blog.” It has seemed to become a good friend of mine, albeit somewhat unreliable. But I can overlook that.
It has been made painfully aware to me this week that I have a problem giving grace to people. Sorry about that, everybody.
Please don’t put comments on this post.
Bre
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
i am sure i am breaking copyright laws . . .
...but this is funny. copyright Scott Adams (I assume). If you are Scott Adams' lawyer please don't sue me.
b
b
Thursday, June 29, 2006
what can i say? i have fallen hard. ernie, this is for you.
"You Owe Me Nothing In Return." By Alanis Morisette. For my hot Mexican. this is us.
I'll give you careless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it.
I will 'll give you encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.
You can speak of anger and doubts, Your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it.
You can share your so-called shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it.
And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.
You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as well or time to revel and you'll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it.
You can ask for anything you want Anything at all and I'll understand it.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of truths Even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it.
You can fall into the abyss On the way to your bliss And I'll empathize with.
You can say that you'll have to skip town To chase your passion and I'll hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
I'll give you careless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it.
I will 'll give you encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.
You can speak of anger and doubts, Your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it.
You can share your so-called shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it.
And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.
You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as well or time to revel and you'll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it.
You can ask for anything you want Anything at all and I'll understand it.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of truths Even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it.
You can fall into the abyss On the way to your bliss And I'll empathize with.
You can say that you'll have to skip town To chase your passion and I'll hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
_____
"how dearly i paid for those happy periods when the presence of God was so real, for this possession which seemed to me so perfect was but the preparation for the times of total deprivation." -Madame Guyon
Monday, June 12, 2006
Similies
When you don't eat sugar
a free cookie
is like a free penlight
you don't really need it
you don't really have a use for it
when you really think about it, you don't even want it
but even so,
it is still hard not to take.
nude beaches
are like Neelix from Voyager
simply a bad idea all the way around
but you still can't help but watch
a cup of decaffinated coffee
is like an escalator
no matter how hard it tries, it can never really justify its existence
ketchup
is like rat poison
its a stupid thing to eat
a free cookie
is like a free penlight
you don't really need it
you don't really have a use for it
when you really think about it, you don't even want it
but even so,
it is still hard not to take.
nude beaches
are like Neelix from Voyager
simply a bad idea all the way around
but you still can't help but watch
a cup of decaffinated coffee
is like an escalator
no matter how hard it tries, it can never really justify its existence
ketchup
is like rat poison
its a stupid thing to eat
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Same old line - by The Five O'Clock People
maybe you´ll never know why
i stare off into silence sometimes
maybe you´ll never see
maybe that´s what scares me
it´s the same old line
if it makes you happy i´ll say that I´m fine
it´s the same old line
look in my eyes and i´ll lie everytime
i stare off into silence sometimes
maybe you´ll never see
maybe that´s what scares me
it´s the same old line
if it makes you happy i´ll say that I´m fine
it´s the same old line
look in my eyes and i´ll lie everytime
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
ouchies...it hurts
Ok. So today I was surfing a desktop wallpaper site which I always use, clicked on the “insect” section and among the options were 4 different pictures of flies and hornets mating.
Who the heck wants that for their wallpaper? Ridiculous.
I was a social deviant today, in a strange way. I was walking down Spence to work after seeing my crazy chiropractor. It was so nice outside, and there were a bunch of people sitting on a front porch just hanging out. I, of course, ignored them because that’s what Winnipeggers do best. But they didn’t let me ignore them. When I walked by one of them said “good morning” in a way which startled me because it was the most sincere “good morning” I think I have ever received. It made me feel good. I said good morning back and smiled. And then realized how rude I was in the first place to ignore them sitting ten feet away from me. I was deviant because I didn’t say hi. And it was great. And now I want to live on Spence street. That’s awesome.
Anyway. Here is a picture of me wearing full makeup for the first time in my life. Enjoy.
Bre
Who the heck wants that for their wallpaper? Ridiculous.
I was a social deviant today, in a strange way. I was walking down Spence to work after seeing my crazy chiropractor. It was so nice outside, and there were a bunch of people sitting on a front porch just hanging out. I, of course, ignored them because that’s what Winnipeggers do best. But they didn’t let me ignore them. When I walked by one of them said “good morning” in a way which startled me because it was the most sincere “good morning” I think I have ever received. It made me feel good. I said good morning back and smiled. And then realized how rude I was in the first place to ignore them sitting ten feet away from me. I was deviant because I didn’t say hi. And it was great. And now I want to live on Spence street. That’s awesome.
Anyway. Here is a picture of me wearing full makeup for the first time in my life. Enjoy.
Bre
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Our trip
We are in Toronto! Catch our updated trip blog at www.whenpigeonsattack.blogspot.com!
Sorry - i can't seem to make the direct link work. Stupid mac.
Bre
Sorry - i can't seem to make the direct link work. Stupid mac.
Bre
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
this post is way too long
Warning: this was written like 2 weeks ago but wasn’t quite ready to be published today. Mostly because of the wedding yesterday. Yes, before you ask. I was gorgeous. And so was odie.
So yesterday I was asked why I hate the show “what not to wear.” . . . and I found myself unsure exactly of how to answer this question.
The first objection that comes to my mind is the simple fact that this show in on a channel called TLC, which at least used to be known as the Learning Channel. What not to wear? That’s just stupid. There’s not much learning happening there.
I think I must have watched about 5 hours of TLC shows this weekend – not my first choice but I was pretty much held hostage in a hotel room. I must admit that at first I was amused. Until, after turning them off I went to bed depressed and feeling uglier than ever. It was just like I was back in Junior High. My clothes aren’t nice enough. They don’t always match, although G-d knows I try. I have no sense of fashion which has always frustrated me. Its not like I’m not interested in looking cute and trendy, but honestly I’m not good at it, and even more important I am far more interested in looking and feeling like myself. Dave and Janie, you guys have taught me that more than anybody (and I’m super excited to see the colorful combinations of clothes that you will let corrina wear once she is big enough to choose!) But when these shows were over, I felt ashamed of the spongebob squarepants shirt that I so proudly wore all day, and was ashamed of my style-less mop of hair. It is no coincidence that I have a hair appointment an hour from now. Something happened during that night that I just can’t shake. And I don’t like the feeling.
I feel so constrained and attacked by this beast called fashion. It’s strange how confident I can be in so many areas of my life, but when it comes to my clothing or my overly bushy eyebrows or small breasts I feel timid and even ashamed. Why am I so afraid to take fashion risks? I think its connected back to when I was young and some significant exchanges I had with my mother. I love her to death, don’t get me wrong. But when I think about taking fashion risks I think of those little comments when I was young, y’know? I remember one day my parents promised to take me to McDonald’s (I did not know about the evils of global conglomerates in those days, forgive me). My dad, not caring or understanding the need to look pretty (bless him), allowed me to come along in my house clothes. It just didn’t occur to either of us that I should change out of my camouflage pants into something a bit nicer for public view. And then we picked up my mom and she was so upset, she didn’t let us go to McDonald’s. And I was so sad. And I just didn’t understand why I looked so inappropriate for people to look at me.
And there was another time I think of when I was a bit older, like 12ish or something, and I just got this nice hand me down button-up shirt from my cousin or something – it was purple, and was just a little too small, but I really wanted it lots and so spent about an hour finding an undershirt to go underneath it and I worked so hard and I felt so pretty and I left my room feeling so proud and pleased with myself and then my mom told me to wear the shirt properly because I looked dumb and everybody would laugh at me.
Please don’t think my mom is horrible. I love and adore her dearly.
Anyway, needless to say, after being told pretty much every week that what I chose to wear was stupid and that people would laugh at me if I went out in public, I am a bit sensitive and unconfident about color matching or personal appearance.
Self image is a funny thing. So are childhood moments like this that stick with you for a long time.
“What not to wear” is like those moments for me, watching it on television again and again and feeling for all of these people. Their entire wardrobe, life choices, and sense of identity are torn apart in front of millions of people. There was this big tough biker guy who came in looking, appropriately, like a biker guy – leather, t-shirts, big beard. He came in so happy. And then after the main part of the show they gave an interview with him and he said that being in the show and dealing with the comments made was THE hardest thing he’s ever done. And he was a huge biker guy. Pretty harsh. And why? To what end? To amuse me. To fill my day for half an hour, this person’s self-perceptions are torn apart and redirected, althought its ok because they got $5000 worth of free clothes. Problem is, he went in looking like a real person, but came out looking like a cookie-cutter of everybody else on TV. And that made me really really sad.
Why is material consumption and personal looks and attractiveness seen as the ultimate answer to all of our problems? Why do we believe these people will have better lives once they learn how to style their hair? Why do I? Why do I waste my time with this, and why is TLC spending millions of dollars to perpetuate this destructive lie?
There are many days where I don’t feel beautiful. But no matter how nice my clothes or hair are, I don’t think I will ever stop having those days.
And the other reason which just kills me is that there are reasons why people dress the way they dress which aren’t dealt with at all. An abused lady wears baggy clothes due to her painful past. A low-income worker can’t afford anything nice because he is paying for his family. And they are given $5000 to get new clothes. Why are we spending so much money “fixing” the symptoms and not the cause of negative self-image or economic inequality? Why not use the $5000 to pay for healthy counseling for this lady? For an educational course in a trade or University for this gentleman so that he can gain skills and provide more for his family?
It just doesn’t make sense.
So, I guess, that’s why I hate the show “what not to wear.” There you go.
So yesterday I was asked why I hate the show “what not to wear.” . . . and I found myself unsure exactly of how to answer this question.
The first objection that comes to my mind is the simple fact that this show in on a channel called TLC, which at least used to be known as the Learning Channel. What not to wear? That’s just stupid. There’s not much learning happening there.
I think I must have watched about 5 hours of TLC shows this weekend – not my first choice but I was pretty much held hostage in a hotel room. I must admit that at first I was amused. Until, after turning them off I went to bed depressed and feeling uglier than ever. It was just like I was back in Junior High. My clothes aren’t nice enough. They don’t always match, although G-d knows I try. I have no sense of fashion which has always frustrated me. Its not like I’m not interested in looking cute and trendy, but honestly I’m not good at it, and even more important I am far more interested in looking and feeling like myself. Dave and Janie, you guys have taught me that more than anybody (and I’m super excited to see the colorful combinations of clothes that you will let corrina wear once she is big enough to choose!) But when these shows were over, I felt ashamed of the spongebob squarepants shirt that I so proudly wore all day, and was ashamed of my style-less mop of hair. It is no coincidence that I have a hair appointment an hour from now. Something happened during that night that I just can’t shake. And I don’t like the feeling.
I feel so constrained and attacked by this beast called fashion. It’s strange how confident I can be in so many areas of my life, but when it comes to my clothing or my overly bushy eyebrows or small breasts I feel timid and even ashamed. Why am I so afraid to take fashion risks? I think its connected back to when I was young and some significant exchanges I had with my mother. I love her to death, don’t get me wrong. But when I think about taking fashion risks I think of those little comments when I was young, y’know? I remember one day my parents promised to take me to McDonald’s (I did not know about the evils of global conglomerates in those days, forgive me). My dad, not caring or understanding the need to look pretty (bless him), allowed me to come along in my house clothes. It just didn’t occur to either of us that I should change out of my camouflage pants into something a bit nicer for public view. And then we picked up my mom and she was so upset, she didn’t let us go to McDonald’s. And I was so sad. And I just didn’t understand why I looked so inappropriate for people to look at me.
And there was another time I think of when I was a bit older, like 12ish or something, and I just got this nice hand me down button-up shirt from my cousin or something – it was purple, and was just a little too small, but I really wanted it lots and so spent about an hour finding an undershirt to go underneath it and I worked so hard and I felt so pretty and I left my room feeling so proud and pleased with myself and then my mom told me to wear the shirt properly because I looked dumb and everybody would laugh at me.
Please don’t think my mom is horrible. I love and adore her dearly.
Anyway, needless to say, after being told pretty much every week that what I chose to wear was stupid and that people would laugh at me if I went out in public, I am a bit sensitive and unconfident about color matching or personal appearance.
Self image is a funny thing. So are childhood moments like this that stick with you for a long time.
“What not to wear” is like those moments for me, watching it on television again and again and feeling for all of these people. Their entire wardrobe, life choices, and sense of identity are torn apart in front of millions of people. There was this big tough biker guy who came in looking, appropriately, like a biker guy – leather, t-shirts, big beard. He came in so happy. And then after the main part of the show they gave an interview with him and he said that being in the show and dealing with the comments made was THE hardest thing he’s ever done. And he was a huge biker guy. Pretty harsh. And why? To what end? To amuse me. To fill my day for half an hour, this person’s self-perceptions are torn apart and redirected, althought its ok because they got $5000 worth of free clothes. Problem is, he went in looking like a real person, but came out looking like a cookie-cutter of everybody else on TV. And that made me really really sad.
Why is material consumption and personal looks and attractiveness seen as the ultimate answer to all of our problems? Why do we believe these people will have better lives once they learn how to style their hair? Why do I? Why do I waste my time with this, and why is TLC spending millions of dollars to perpetuate this destructive lie?
There are many days where I don’t feel beautiful. But no matter how nice my clothes or hair are, I don’t think I will ever stop having those days.
And the other reason which just kills me is that there are reasons why people dress the way they dress which aren’t dealt with at all. An abused lady wears baggy clothes due to her painful past. A low-income worker can’t afford anything nice because he is paying for his family. And they are given $5000 to get new clothes. Why are we spending so much money “fixing” the symptoms and not the cause of negative self-image or economic inequality? Why not use the $5000 to pay for healthy counseling for this lady? For an educational course in a trade or University for this gentleman so that he can gain skills and provide more for his family?
It just doesn’t make sense.
So, I guess, that’s why I hate the show “what not to wear.” There you go.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
boys shouldn't read this
OK. I’m back. Everybody settle down. You can thank my crappy economics course for my extended absence. I’ll let you guys know my mark once I get it. I was the first one finished, which is never a good sign.
Anyway. Back to my story.
So as some of you know, I’ve been having some trouble with some areas of my body which some people have, in the past, taught me to refer to as my “private parts.” This is why I have warned the boys not to read this – I think It may get pretty graphic. Anyway, I got an appointment with my doctor, but she wasn’t available, so I had to see this guy who I don’t normally have. And we talked and we did some tests which were uncomfortable and all that and we were waiting for some of the special results.
I was, I can admit, more than a bit nervous about this whole deal because I have lately become terrified of any medical complication more serious than a hangnail. So . . . literally . . . neurotic me, every time the phone rang and it was a number I didn’t recognize I got a bit jumpy expecting bad news of test results.
So I got probed by this strange new doctor on Friday and then on Tuesday got this phone call.
“May I speak to Sebrina please?”
“Yes, this is me.”
“This is Dr. May’s office.”
Hello. My heart is starting to pound and I am starting to get worried. They said that they would only call if the tests indicated something was going on, so this is not a good sign. I am a bit jumpy at this point.
“Ok.”
“We are calling to ask if you would like to make an appointment for a cleaning.”
OK. Now I am embarrassed. A cleaning? I thought I was pretty clean. Oh, man. This is embarrassing. How much more vulnerable can you be? Lying pretty much naked on a table and then your doctor has his receptionist call and schedule you for a cleaning? I didn’t even know there were such things. I’ve never heard of this before.
“A cleaning?”
“Yes. We were wondering if you would like to come in. We can take you tomorrow if you’d like.”
So apparently this is an emergency of sorts. Should I be ashamed of this? What’s going on? Is there some womanly secret to cleaning that area that my mother never told me about? It seems hardly fair to judge me for that.
“So, like . . . do I need one?”
“Well, our records show that its been a year since your last one, and its advisable to have at least one cleaning per year.”
What? I don’t remember having a cleaning. Except . . . .
Frick. Dr. MAY. Now I remember. He’s my fricking dentist.
Anyway. Back to my story.
So as some of you know, I’ve been having some trouble with some areas of my body which some people have, in the past, taught me to refer to as my “private parts.” This is why I have warned the boys not to read this – I think It may get pretty graphic. Anyway, I got an appointment with my doctor, but she wasn’t available, so I had to see this guy who I don’t normally have. And we talked and we did some tests which were uncomfortable and all that and we were waiting for some of the special results.
I was, I can admit, more than a bit nervous about this whole deal because I have lately become terrified of any medical complication more serious than a hangnail. So . . . literally . . . neurotic me, every time the phone rang and it was a number I didn’t recognize I got a bit jumpy expecting bad news of test results.
So I got probed by this strange new doctor on Friday and then on Tuesday got this phone call.
“May I speak to Sebrina please?”
“Yes, this is me.”
“This is Dr. May’s office.”
Hello. My heart is starting to pound and I am starting to get worried. They said that they would only call if the tests indicated something was going on, so this is not a good sign. I am a bit jumpy at this point.
“Ok.”
“We are calling to ask if you would like to make an appointment for a cleaning.”
OK. Now I am embarrassed. A cleaning? I thought I was pretty clean. Oh, man. This is embarrassing. How much more vulnerable can you be? Lying pretty much naked on a table and then your doctor has his receptionist call and schedule you for a cleaning? I didn’t even know there were such things. I’ve never heard of this before.
“A cleaning?”
“Yes. We were wondering if you would like to come in. We can take you tomorrow if you’d like.”
So apparently this is an emergency of sorts. Should I be ashamed of this? What’s going on? Is there some womanly secret to cleaning that area that my mother never told me about? It seems hardly fair to judge me for that.
“So, like . . . do I need one?”
“Well, our records show that its been a year since your last one, and its advisable to have at least one cleaning per year.”
What? I don’t remember having a cleaning. Except . . . .
Frick. Dr. MAY. Now I remember. He’s my fricking dentist.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Zac, this one's especially for you
Religious Cell Phones
Also . . . I've added a link to your right (no, Dave . . . your other right) called "Letters at Large." It tells of the exploits of a Winnipeg student who, while he is bored in classes, writes inane letters to different companies. He posts both his letters and his replies. Some are quite amusing. Check it out.
Bre
Also . . . I've added a link to your right (no, Dave . . . your other right) called "Letters at Large." It tells of the exploits of a Winnipeg student who, while he is bored in classes, writes inane letters to different companies. He posts both his letters and his replies. Some are quite amusing. Check it out.
Bre
Monday, March 27, 2006
12 days of festivas
so i am a bit ashamed and intrigued by the fact that i can't seem to write a cognizant complete article on this blog without shifting back and fourth from a million different subjects. today i think i have figured out this problem. its that i write these at work where i am pressed for time and have a million things to do during my short breaks. just like right now. well, not really a break, but i'm waiting for my wonderful friend kara to pick me up to show me a night on the town.
"bring it around town, bring it around tooooowwwwwnnnn." -Spongebob Squarepants
so until i have a good amount of time to actually sit and think, i think i will have to simply attack you with short jabs of thoughts a la much music. sorry about that.
do you know that Spongebob Squarepants in french is Bob Esponja? isn't that great?
so these are the other things i have been considering today:
1. do i really need these stupid antidepressants? they're expensive and cost me an hours worth of time today.
2. do i really want to let everybody i know know that i take antidepressants?
3. why do i keep typing without erasing the first two points?
4. i read an article today where somebody slammed winnipeg bus drivers for being rude and ignorant. i don't think that is true, and i also think that somebody should stand up for them. but i don't know how.
5. how is it that some days my pants fit great and others i feel like i can barely breathe? does it have to do with the sugar free jones soda i drank yesterday? if so i don't think it was worth it. i don't think my body likes sucralose.
6. why am i so lazy to not reach my pinky over to the shift button in order to capitalize letters?
7. why does my new apartment hate me? last week the fridge stopped working and spoiled my cheese, croissants, and my honey's papusas.
8. why are you even bothering reading this? its sort of pointless.
9. Its Dave's birthday today. yay dave! happy birthday! you are loved and cherished like crazy, even though i don't always tell you. you are the best. i can't think of a more loyal and fun friend that i have ever had and if for some reason you weren't able to speak or move anymore i would totally still hang out with you even though you would have no way of communicating with me becasue that is how important you are to me. enjoy the old muppets, my friend.
10. today i came to the conclusion (realisation?) that i really, really, REALLY need Jesus. Now I just have to figure out how to find him again. I looked behind my bookcase but he wasn't there. forget prayer. its not working. what else should i do?
11. jenn taylor, are you reading this? i adore you and miss you terribly.
12. frick. too many bullets.
Bye, Candace. Have a super time in Haiti. I think you should pretend you are going on survivor and always refer to everything as an immunity challenge. they probably won't know what you are talking about and everybody will probably think you are a loser, but i think it would be worth it.
"bring it around town, bring it around tooooowwwwwnnnn." -Spongebob Squarepants
so until i have a good amount of time to actually sit and think, i think i will have to simply attack you with short jabs of thoughts a la much music. sorry about that.
do you know that Spongebob Squarepants in french is Bob Esponja? isn't that great?
so these are the other things i have been considering today:
1. do i really need these stupid antidepressants? they're expensive and cost me an hours worth of time today.
2. do i really want to let everybody i know know that i take antidepressants?
3. why do i keep typing without erasing the first two points?
4. i read an article today where somebody slammed winnipeg bus drivers for being rude and ignorant. i don't think that is true, and i also think that somebody should stand up for them. but i don't know how.
5. how is it that some days my pants fit great and others i feel like i can barely breathe? does it have to do with the sugar free jones soda i drank yesterday? if so i don't think it was worth it. i don't think my body likes sucralose.
6. why am i so lazy to not reach my pinky over to the shift button in order to capitalize letters?
7. why does my new apartment hate me? last week the fridge stopped working and spoiled my cheese, croissants, and my honey's papusas.
8. why are you even bothering reading this? its sort of pointless.
9. Its Dave's birthday today. yay dave! happy birthday! you are loved and cherished like crazy, even though i don't always tell you. you are the best. i can't think of a more loyal and fun friend that i have ever had and if for some reason you weren't able to speak or move anymore i would totally still hang out with you even though you would have no way of communicating with me becasue that is how important you are to me. enjoy the old muppets, my friend.
10. today i came to the conclusion (realisation?) that i really, really, REALLY need Jesus. Now I just have to figure out how to find him again. I looked behind my bookcase but he wasn't there. forget prayer. its not working. what else should i do?
11. jenn taylor, are you reading this? i adore you and miss you terribly.
12. frick. too many bullets.
Bye, Candace. Have a super time in Haiti. I think you should pretend you are going on survivor and always refer to everything as an immunity challenge. they probably won't know what you are talking about and everybody will probably think you are a loser, but i think it would be worth it.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
no soup for you
i feel pressure to write in order to keep my massive readership happy and satisfied, however, there does not seem to be a whole lot of things which have inspired me lately.
Well, maybe New Orleans.
What should we discuss today? Voluntary Simplicity? Minneapolis? The Congo? Communal living? Urban vs. Rural? There are many things that I am pondering, but none which I think are either particularly intersting to others, or which I have gotten myself to a point of being able to verbalize quite yet. poverty? The ridiculous price of brazzires? the fact that I don't know how to spell brazzires? babies? muppet figurines? The fact that i am really really bad at paying back my friends for muppet figurines? I am a bit ashamed about that one. how to keep daisies alive in my office? The harsh sting of betrayal and mistrust? The blueness of the sky? The sadness I feel that I can't make my easter gorilla make his gorilla noise because the volume is way way too loud and there are some anal people working in my office who wouldn't appreciate that, so he sits on the shelf taunting me with his bunny ears, just waiting and pleading for me to pull on his arm so that he can scream and shout for joy? The oppressive nature of cocoa beans? The stupidity of having a monthly period? The fact that the u.s. is spending billions of dollars on a war but none of health care for its citizens or on reconstruction efforts in new orleans? racism?
alskjdflaiseufjlaseikjflasiefuj
how can i fix the world when there are so many things wrong with it? it seems a large task. oh, well.
otherwise. ramble ramble ramble. i am determined to take up my entire legally-required break today since i haven't taken one in a long time. technically i think its pretty much over. but first i want to make a little face sticking out his tongue.
:-p
Well, maybe New Orleans.
What should we discuss today? Voluntary Simplicity? Minneapolis? The Congo? Communal living? Urban vs. Rural? There are many things that I am pondering, but none which I think are either particularly intersting to others, or which I have gotten myself to a point of being able to verbalize quite yet. poverty? The ridiculous price of brazzires? the fact that I don't know how to spell brazzires? babies? muppet figurines? The fact that i am really really bad at paying back my friends for muppet figurines? I am a bit ashamed about that one. how to keep daisies alive in my office? The harsh sting of betrayal and mistrust? The blueness of the sky? The sadness I feel that I can't make my easter gorilla make his gorilla noise because the volume is way way too loud and there are some anal people working in my office who wouldn't appreciate that, so he sits on the shelf taunting me with his bunny ears, just waiting and pleading for me to pull on his arm so that he can scream and shout for joy? The oppressive nature of cocoa beans? The stupidity of having a monthly period? The fact that the u.s. is spending billions of dollars on a war but none of health care for its citizens or on reconstruction efforts in new orleans? racism?
alskjdflaiseufjlaseikjflasiefuj
how can i fix the world when there are so many things wrong with it? it seems a large task. oh, well.
otherwise. ramble ramble ramble. i am determined to take up my entire legally-required break today since i haven't taken one in a long time. technically i think its pretty much over. but first i want to make a little face sticking out his tongue.
:-p
Thursday, March 02, 2006
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