Tuesday, December 11, 2012

more erotic. it happens.


We have attempted to separate the spiritual and the erotic, thereby reducing the spiritual to a world of flattened affect, a world of the ascetic who aspires to feel nothing.  But nothing is farther from the truth.  For the ascetic position is one of the highest fear, the greatest immobility.  The severe abstinence of the ascetic becomes the ruling obsession.  And it is not one of self-discipline but of self-abnegation.  - Audre Lorde

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

horror.

The principal horror of any system which defines the good in terms of profit rather than in terms of human need, or which defines human need to the exclusion of the psychic and emotional components of that need - the principal horror of such a system is that it robs our work of its erotic value, its erotic power, and life appeal and fulfillment.  Such a system reduces work to a travesty of necessities, a duty by which we earn bread or oblivion for ourselves and those we love.  But this is tantamount to blinding a painter and then telling her to improve her work, and to enjoy the act of painting.  It is not only next to impossible, it is also profoundly cruel.  - Audre Lorde


Sunday, November 04, 2012

sexy...


She makes hungry where most she satisfies . . . - Shakespeare, Anthony and Cleopatra


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Monday, October 01, 2012

destiny


It is never easy to demand the most from ourselves, from our lives, from our work.  To encourage excellence is to go beyond the encouraged mediocrity of our society is to encourage excellence.  But giving in to the fear of feeling and working to capacity is a luxury only the unintentional can afford, and the unintentional are those who do not wish to guide their own destinies.  - Audre Lorde


Monday, September 24, 2012

rent party


"Activism is my rent for living on this planet."  Alice Walker

Monday, September 17, 2012

whoa


We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings.  But, once recognized, those which do not enhance our future lose their power and can be altered.  The fear of our desires keep them suspect and indiscriminately powerful, for to suppress any truth is to give it strength beyond endurance.  The fear that we cannot grow beyond whatever distortions we may find within ourselves keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, externally defined, and leads us to accept many facets of our oppression as women.  - Audre Lorde


Monday, September 03, 2012

love, life, growth


Sometimes the most valuable thing you can offer is not an answer but your presence, your being there to share the feeling of loneliness, your being there while someone goes on breathing in and out, whether it matters or not. -Sally Casper


Monday, August 27, 2012

audre lorde is my hero


Our erotic knowledge empowers us, becomes a lens through which we scrutinize all aspects of our existence, forcing us to evaluate those aspects honestly in terms of their relative meaning within our lives.  And this is a grave responsibility, projected from within each of us, not to settle for the convenient, the shoddy, the conventionally expected, nor the merely safe.  Audre Lorde


Monday, August 20, 2012

growing


Darkness was a presence.  I learned to see in it, I learned to see through it, and I learned to see the darkness of my own.  - Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

hells yeah


Patriarchy and capitalism are not autonomous, not even interconnected systems, but the same system.  
- Pat Armstrong and Hugh Armstrong

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

take the time


When we live outside ourselves, and by that I mean on external directives only rather than from our internal knowledge and needs when we live away from those erotic guides from within ourselves, then our lives are limited by external and alien forms, and we conform to the needs of a structure that is not based on human need, let alone an individual's.  But when we begin to live from within outward, in touch with the power of the erotic within ourselves, and allowing that power to inform and illuminate our actions upon the world around us, then we begin to be responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense.  For as we begin to recognize our deepest feelings, we begin to be responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense.  For as we begin to recognize our deepest feelings, we begin to give up, of necessity, being satisfied with suffering and self-negation, and with the numbness which so often seems like their only alternative in our society.  Our acts against oppression become integral with self, motivated and empowered from within.  - Audre Lorde  


Monday, July 23, 2012

summer


"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." -John Burroughs 


Monday, July 09, 2012

long since


As for myself, I am splintered by great waves.  I am colored glass from a church window long since shattered.  I find pieces of myself everywhere, and I cut myself handling them. 

- Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping


Monday, July 02, 2012

electric alive powerful


Feminism is about change, about a redistribution of power.  It is about challenging the status quo.  It is call for the redefinition of the family, the mosque, the temple, the church, the synagogue, and of love.  Change is threatening to those of us who wield power and those who do not.  And because it is threatening, it is electric and alive and powerful and I want to touch it.  - Samantha Sacks


Monday, June 25, 2012

whoa



What I remember is love – all love – love of this dirt road, this sunrise, a day by the river, the stranger I met in a cafĂ©. Myself, even, which is the hardest thing of all to love, because love and selfishness are not the same thing. It is easy to be selfish. It is hard to love who I am. No wonder I am surprised if you do.
- Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping

Monday, June 18, 2012

the personal is political


Opposing cruelty should not be seen as a specifically liberal or conservative cause. -James Rachels


Tuesday, June 05, 2012

goodness


I used to be a hopeless romantic.  I am still a hopeless romantic.  I used to believe that love was the highest value.  I still believe that love is the highest value.  I don’t expect to be happy.  I don’t imagine that I will find love, whatever that means, or that if I do find it, it will make me happy.  I don’t think of love as the answer or the solution.  I think of love as a force of nature – as strong as the sun, as necessary, as impersonal, as gigantic, as impossible, as scorching as it is warming, as drought-making as it is life-giving.  And when it burns out, the planet dies.- Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping


Monday, May 28, 2012

hells yeah

i know it's not super cool to quote TV, but here ya go.  wisdom.


If you think back and replay your year - if it doesn’t bring you tears, either joy or sadness, consider your year wasted. - John, Ally McBeal

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

JW on love. she knows her stuff.

I am part civet, part mouser.
What should I do about the wild and the tame?  The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home.  I want to be held.  I don’t want you to come too close.  I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights.  I don’t want to tell you where I am.  I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me.  I want to be with you.
  • Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping

Monday, May 14, 2012

histamine


The circumstances of our lives are another medium of God’s communication with us. God opens some doors and closes others.... Through the wisdom of our bodies, God tells us to slow down or reorder our priorities. The happy coincidences and frustrating impasses of daily life are laden with messages. Patient listening and the grace of the Spirit are the decoding devices of prayer. It is a good habit to ask, What is God saying to me in this situation? Listening to our lives is part of prayer.
- Marjorie J. Thompson, Soul Feast

Monday, May 07, 2012

YUC

In the bulletin of Young United Church. I love this.

 If you come troubled, may you find peace; if lonely, may you find friendship; if in doubt, may you find faith; if happy, share your joy with others. We welcome all persons who seek to live in faith, regardless of age, gender, racial or ethnic background, sexual orientation, differently-abled condition, economic or cultural background; and we affirm that they are full participants in the life, work, membership and leadership of this church.



Monday, April 30, 2012

i love this so bad

Seize the day, if you must, but do so gently and never, ever shake it. All days are not alike, and some of them are just not meant for seizing. Some days you wake up with a headache, a dentist's appointment, and a long to-do list. But that's okay. Seize tomorrow instead and today follow the path of least resistance - because deciding not to seize this particular day is also a form of seizing the day, if you follow my drift. Likewise, whoever came up with the bright idea that you should live each day as if it were your last has probably never taken this advice . . . what this cliche fails to address is that the day after your imagined last day quickly arrives and transforms your grand exit into an unmitigated disaster. Now you're chubby, broke, jobless, and have really spooked your cute UPS driver. And you're supposed to live this nightmarish new day as if it's your last. You see where I'm going with this - it gets old very fast. Better advice is to live each year as if it's your last. Pace yourself. Prioritize. Most of all, enjoy the constructive daydreaming it takes to plan your fantasy, because if you don't, you're missing the whole point: Living each day as if it's your last is really about enjoying now. Even if you're not exactly where you want to be yet, there really is a ton of pleasure to be had in stopping to smell the rugosas along the way. Adventure comes with no guarantees or promises. Risk and reward are conjoined twins . . . there are many good reasons not to toss your life up in the air and see how it lands. Just don't let fear be one of them. - Mary South

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

faith

I will gather myself around my faith, for light does the darkness most fear – Jewel

Monday, April 09, 2012

trying

The only wisdom we can hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of humility:  humility is endless. - T. S. Eliot

Monday, April 02, 2012

hope

And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time. - T.S. Eliot

This quote came to mind while I was at an Anglican church service yesterday morning.

I am not near the end of my exploring, but I did feel a resonance here. It has been a long time since I have been to a church service. Weary and burdened by so many disappointing stories, frustrations at church hierarchy and patriarchy, deep sadness and solidarity with so many of my friends who have been bruised by my Christianity, my heart was having trouble sitting in a pew lately. A sort of spiritual depression, an exploration of self and the divine beyond the church walls brought me to many good and interesting places. Also painful ones. Why are churches such difficult places to be?

And then, why do I crave them so?

I entered this church carefully, alone, somewhat familiar with the people and the walls there. Many things brought me to that pew, including disappointment, hurt, listlessness and a bad complexion. Not much hope; more desperation for something meaningful to grab onto on a sunday morning.

The second we began communal prayer I began to cry like a little baby, which was awkward because right after we were to shake hands and share the peace with everybody. This return to this pew and this church and this specific expression of faith, speaking words of utter dependance on Jesus, grace, and love felt so missed by my soul. I felt so relieved, so like I belonged somewhere again, it all felt so familiar and tangible and hopeful. Also so unexpected.

Back again for the first time. I am not sure what the future holds here or where I will end up. But yesterday was a gift that I deeply grateful for.

Monday, March 26, 2012

landing-place

Loneliness isn't about being by yourself . . . Loneliness is about finding a landing-place, or not, and knowing that, whatever you do, you can go back there.  The opposite of loneliness isn't company, its return,.  A place to return. - Jeanette Winterson, The Stone Gods

Sunday, March 18, 2012

getting too cheesy here

And today my greatest desire is to sprout wings,
to have them pop out of my shoulders
familiar, as if they have always been there (have they?)
fly amongst the heavens and the depths
feeling true freedom and love and joy
liberation in every way
physically emotionally spiritually mentally
I long to fly

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

ode to toronto

my worlds continue to collide in this city
yet i wonder at my homesickness
my desire to run from nostalgia into the arms of the tangibly familiar
this sidewalk this hotel this cafe
an insidious labyrinth of unwelcome memories
surround me mercilessly
dragging me to places long tucked away

Monday, February 27, 2012

uhhuh

Love is a great beautifier. - Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Monday, February 13, 2012

hell, yeah

Only the impossible is worth the effort. - Jeanette Winterson, The Stone Gods

Monday, February 06, 2012

well

so can we talk about feelings?

my insides feel all jumbled around and all up and down

everything is interacting

i feel happy, very. i also feel very confused and disoriented, like walking in a big haze

and what is my body and my heart saying? and what do i need to change? and where does rest fit into this?

the divine and destiny and meditation

i sort of want to sleep for a year

Monday, January 30, 2012

yesyesyes

True Christianity beguiles, seduces, invites, cajoles, creates spiritual yearning and draws humanity into ever more desirable mystery, healing and grace.  - Richard Rohr

Monday, January 23, 2012

ouch

I keep myself locked in a box when it matters, and broken open when it doesn't matter at all. - Jeanette Winterson, The Stone Gods

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

true dat

Sometimes, at the moment of waking, I get a sense for a second that I have found a way forward.  Then I stand up, losing all direction, relying on someone else's instruments to tell me where I am - Jeanette Winterson, The Stone Gods

Monday, January 09, 2012

hmmmm

Strange to dream in the right shape and build in the wrong shape, but maybe that is what we do every day, never believing that a dream could tell the truth. - Jeanette Winterson, The Stone Gods

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

don't read too much into this

I was utterly miserable, and yet fearless as I had never been. - Ursula K. Le Guin, "A Women's Liberation"