Monday, October 31, 2011

31 on 31

It's my birthday! again.

i always find birthdays a better time than new years to make resolutions. It feels a little more personal, a little more connected to me and my rhythm of life. plus, i can do a quick self-check at new years to see if i am on track 3 months later.

so here is the update, folks, this is where i am at on this champagne birthday:


For an anxiety-prone angst-filled woman, this is quite a rare state. Took 31 years to get here really. Its so wild that 10 years ago I graduated from Providence College and started a new non-student life; my life looks so differently now than it did back then. 10 years is both a very long and very short time.

I am thankful for the challenges, hurts, pains, joys, friends, and people who rubbed up against me like sandpaper for your part in making me the woman i am today. You know who you are.

So this year I declare a year of rest. Meaning that one of my main lessons this year is that sometimes you just have to trust, sit, and let things be. To go slow, thoughtfully, and intentionally. To resist busyness and replace it with meaningful relationships and very important meaningful times-of-no-scheduleness.

I basically declare a year of play.

Will keep you updated.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

tell it

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.  - Zora Neale Hurston

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I realize now that the past does not dissolve like a mirage.  I realize that the future, though invisible, has weight.  We are in the gravitational pull of past and future.  It takes huge energy - speed-of-light-power-to break that gravitational pull.
How many of us ever get free of our orbit?  We tease ourselves with fancy notions of free will and self-help courses that direct our lives.  We believe we can be our own miracle, and just a lottery win or Mr. Right will make the world new.

The ancients believed in Fate because they recognized how hard it is for anyone to change anything.  The pull of past and future is so strong that the present is crushed by it.  We lie helpless in the force of patterns inherited and patterns re-enacted by our own behavior.  The burden is intolerable.
- Jeanette Winterson, Weight

Monday, October 03, 2011


Each relationship you have with another person reflects the relationship you have with yourself. - Alice Deville