Monday, September 25, 2006


Lately I have been wondering if I am on the wrong track. My desire is to serve God – in a way which is true to both his and my own character. Am I doing that? Have I gone off of the wrong track?

I think of how different I am now than I was 2 years ago. I think of how my passions have changed – my time and how I live my life looks very different now than it once did. Two years ago the church was my life. I gave it everything that I had. Outreach, for the purpose of introducing people to the character of Christ was utmost in my heart, mind, and prayers. I was excited to see others discover this God that I had discovered. I was excited to pursue God in ways which really encouraged creativity (and sometimes some silly off-the-wall-ness). I knocked on doors to understand how best the church could serve its community, and I just really really wanted to love people and to show them the great life and freedom that can be found in Christ.

Things are different now. I am passionate – but the thought of outreach for the pure purpose of introducing people to Christ makes me uncomfortable. I see much value in other religions and other spiritual practices. I have met and prayed with a number of Godly people who do not necessarily know the person of Christ, or at least not Christ as Savior. My passion is to see good done in the world – to fight oppression, to stand for justice. My passion is still to help and encourage others to pursue God in creative and unique ways which fit their unique creation, yet I am now very open that this pursuit and this worship of God can sincerely and powerfully occur outside of the region of Christiantiy.

At the risk of sounding too Oprah-ish I believe that God has grace, and that people can pursue him in so many different ways, including religions, which gives me great peace and excitement. It is great to see people find God in different places.

This is so different. And at times it haunts me. My semi-fundamentalist upbringing screams at me that Christ is the only way – that Christianity is the only way – that personal salvation is of utmost importance and that everything else is secondary. Yet in my pursuit of God in the last little while, this is not where God has taken me. I do believe that I have been sincere in following God to this point. I do believe that there is no other place that I can be right now.

But at times I question whether this journey is merely a reaction to some bad church-ness stuff in the past. Or if I am mistaking my own thoughts about justice and what is right for the Holy Spirit’s leading. How can I tell if I am lead by my own desires, or God’s desires?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

another lifechanger. these can get tiring.

while sort of attending a workshop this weekend (that is, before i left that to attend Pukefest 2006. Too much information, I know), the girl two chairs over from me said something which was very poignant and which struck both Ernie and I significantly.

Although I did not have the mind to write it down directly, it was something along these lines:

"Every dollar that you spend is a vote for the future that you want."

Isn't that stellar? The power of it comes in its truthfulness. As consumers, we have so much power which I don't think that we even realize. In essence, me buying a specific product is me telling that company that specific product is valuable to me, that I accept the terms under which I purchased it, and that I accept the practices of the store which I purchased it at. And, more importantly, I am telling them that I want them to make more in the exact same way.

This means that, in essence, I voted for and supported the business and production of the following things this last week:
1) Staples Busines Depot, a shop with generally bad service and generally low wages, which I overlooked due to the low prices.
2) Sprite and the Coca-Cola company in general. Though this purchase was made at a time of illness-induced delirium, I still take responsibility for it. Coke does not have the best reputation Internationally in treating people well.
3) To be fair to myself and give me some fuzzy-wuzzies, I did purchase some organic bananas visited Harry's Foods, and chose to eat out at Prairie Ink Cafe, a restaurant with strong Winnipeg roots and a commitment to fresh non-processed food.
4) to again be fair to myself, I did purchase a sweater which I am pretty sure was made by a 5 year old child in Indonesia.

I am embarassed at most of these.

Do you think Staples or Coke is going to sue me? If they do, they should know that I don't have much money. Anyway, continuing on . . .

So yet AGAIN, because I apparantly don't always get these things right, I am re-affirming my commitment to building a better world. This time specifically by voting with my money.

I choose to vote for a world in which corporations accept and take seriously their social responsibility. I choose to vote for a world in which businesses are localized, run by the people which they serve, and offer living wages. I choose to vote for a world which places people before profit. I choose to vote for a world which includes having Johnny Depp sunbathe on my front lawn (just kidding). I choose to vote for a world which does not employ child labour. I choose to vote for a world in which all people are respected, and all people have access to clean water, healthy food, and health care. And I choose to vote for this with my wallet, although it is at times difficult and significantly more expensive.

What world do you choose to vote for?

Monday, September 11, 2006

i have hit a new low

years ago i promised myself i would never ever ever live in a basement. this is due mainly to my fear of spiders. in case you never made the connection, spiders really really really like basements.

Well, due to financial reasons and a handsome, godly, incredible man running away with my best friend, i am now living in my brother's basement. which is at times cursed with the odd spider. the biggest problem here is when i am trying to fall asleep i always feel them crawling on me and i freak out. i have devised an ingenious (i think) solution to this problem. All summer i have slept in a bed on my tent.

spread the word! it works, although i can't really fully stretch out. but sometimes i can pretend i am just camping outside which is mostly fun until the bears try to eat me (and others who happen to be around). But besides the being eaten by bears part, things are pretty good.


by the way, i have added a "take some sweet action" section to the sidebar. I'll be posting some easy ways you can take action to promote some uber-important peace and justice issues. feel free (and feel encouraged) to click away!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


It is official. I am a geek.

There are 2 things which happened to me in the last 24 hours which really excited me. I mean, giddy excited. Like a little schoolgirl. They are:

1. Standing in line at the U of M. Yep, standing in line. Made me giddy. I got to pretend that I was again a full-time student. There is NOTHING better than being a full-time student. There was such a buzz of energy around, so much excitement. A huge line-up at Tim Hortons. Freshmen with a mixed look of terror and confusion. The smell of academia in the air. Good deal. It made me very happy.

2. Roller Coaster Tycoon. Yes, like other areas of my life including my clothing and musical preference, I am also 8 years behind everybody else in my choice of video games. I stayed home yesterday because I felt ill. I tried to hard to do something productive but my basic discomfort coupled with my prescription medication made that nearly impossible. It was honestly a feat to walk to the kitchen sink. So I was forced to whittle my time away exploring this “new” game Roller Coaster Tycoon. It is so fun. I made this great little park and finally got everything to a point where it was smooth and all of my guests were happy. Is that strange that I get a great feeling when I think of the good times these fake computer people are having at my park? I even kept my entrance fee low. My nephew was really annoyed and that and told me constantly to up my fees. But then I told him that if I did that the low-income computer people wouldn’t be able to come and then everybody at the poor computer orphanage wouldn’t be able to have fun at my great park. I thought this was pretty straightforward. Until he reminded me that these people don’t really exist, and I am really not helping anybody. Still, I have not raised my park admission price. I have yet to decide if this is really cool of me or really pathetic. I’ll let you know when I make a judgement call on that one.