“I think our difficulty in accessing happiness lies in large part right there: We are usually preoccupied with being useful – doing something with an outcome in mind, rather than being open to where we are at this moment . . . happiness, not to mention joy, can help us forget ourselves altogether, at least for a time. It can take us into the wide world beyond our own self-preoccupations. It can join us to the trees, to other people, to cows and to stones and to the living pulse of humankind itself. It can join us to the china mug of tea in our own right hand. Strange, then, that it should seem so fleeting and difficult to grasp.
Happiness is our natural state. It is the feeling tone of who we are when we are most at home in ourselves. It means there is nothing to add to what we already have, or to who we already are.
Let us . . . remember . . . that some great music is playing, even now, in the midst of it all, and the happiness inside us is part of the melody.” (Roger Housden, "Taking a Chance on Joy," Oprah December 2006, 277-278)
Yes, its from the Oprah magazine. Big surprise.
Happiness has always been a struggle for me. Not in attaining it persay, but in my struggle with how to approach it. Is it something to be desired? To be pursued? To be cherished? Does happiness provide any sort of meaning? Is it in essence merely a reprieve from suckier parts or moments of life?
Basically, is it something that I should want, or merely something I should be grateful for if it happens?
I’m not quite sure that I agree with the author when he states that “Happiness is our natural state.” I think that he assumes that if we take those little moments, those moments looking at trees or simply enjoying a hot cup of tea under a blanket on a cold day without anywhere else to be, that if we just stop focusing on all of the busyness and tyranny of life, then happiness will creep in and envelop us. I very much understand the value of appreciating life as it is right now, and I am very much a fan of pursuing simplicity in forms such as this. But life is a painful beast. And there are moments when I am very much enjoying my tea under a fuzzy polar bear blanket and I very much appreciate that moment, yet I am not at all happy. It is often those moments where everything is quiet, where I am content physically and am thankful for that very moment which my mind and heart laments passionately and painfully for the existence of mine and the world’s sinfulness, for the very existence of death, for the frustrating mysteriousness of God, for lost dreams, for broken relationships . . .
Should it frighten me that the “feeling tone of who (I am) when (I am) most at home in (myself)” is one, at least lately, of overwhelming sadness? Should I embrace that? Should I fight that? Should I struggle through that? Is this merely a phase . . . a temporary part of the journey . . . or a permanent fixation?
Is this me? Or not?
Am I too pessimistic? Too busy in my head? Am I getting life wrong? Am I getting myself wrong? Should I just learn to freaking relax?
Happiness would be great. But I don’t think that’s in store for me today. And honestly, sometimes I am ok with that. Sometimes.
Was Julian of Norwich happy? Hmm.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
selfish day...but it felt so good
I frickin’ watched 4 movies yesterday – with 4 different sets of people. That’s what I did. And I slept. Lots. I slept so much I thought I was Jack Van Impe. Wait, I think I mean Rip Van Winkle.
So here’s a helpful hint; whenever somebody tries to convince you that genetically modified foods are the answer to ending global hunger, tell them this: Hunger is Due to Injustice, Not Lack of food.
So here’s a helpful hint; whenever somebody tries to convince you that genetically modified foods are the answer to ending global hunger, tell them this: Hunger is Due to Injustice, Not Lack of food.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
are you supposed to peel turnips?
I’m such a loser
I cried twice already today, and it is only 8:30 am. First I cried when my bus came and the driver was dressed like Santa Claus and there were Christmas carols and he was so happy. That made me smile lots. But then I watched when at every bus stop people would get on, and then their faces would brighten so fast and there was such a feeling of commonality and goodness on their faces. There was something special and significant there, and it is all thanks to the bus driver who doesn’t have enough personal shame not to dress up like a badly dressed old fat man. I have lately begun to appreciate Christmas in ways which I haven’t before. Though not all in North America profess Christ, or may even understand what Christmas is all about, there is still something there holding people together. Something special about this time of year which everybody understands, even if it is just fleeting or very subtle. Something is there which brings strangers together in a very small way. And that is cool. And it made me teary.
Then I cried again when Quincy gave his life to save Madame Mina from the evil vampires. It was very touching.
Yesterday was the first time that I remember ever eating a turnip. I’m not even sure if I made it right. Are you supposed to peel turnips? It seemed like a good thing to do, so I did it. I made Stock with it. But now I have a half of a turnip left, but don’t quite know how to cook it. Any help? Janie? Martha? Luke? John? I claim ignorance in turnip-ness. Perhaps its not even a turnip at all, but was something which seemed to me might be a turnip at the time. There was a bin of 4 things, and one of the labels above was turnips so I took my best guess. Don’t mock me for my ignorance – it’s not my fault that my mother deprived me of turnips as a child.
Anyway. Happy Christmastime, all. That’s all for now.
Oh, yeah. Wait. I met with Jenny Gerbasi this week at Hy’s Steak House. SWANKY! It was fun, and I learned lots and also got 2 free tickets to a Hillbilly Burlesque show, dessert, and a picture for my wall (not of Jenny, of Portage avenue, though I think I can tape a picture of her in front of the MTS centre. We’ll see). It was great, and very eye-opening. Sometimes I think my calling is in politics, sometimes I think my calling is more pastoral, other times I think and wish I was called to more of an unemployed and hippie-ish type life where I eat the roots out of my backyard and spend all day trying to make a non-animal harming djembe out of berries and moose snot. Sigh. Where will the future lead? Who the heck knows?
I cried twice already today, and it is only 8:30 am. First I cried when my bus came and the driver was dressed like Santa Claus and there were Christmas carols and he was so happy. That made me smile lots. But then I watched when at every bus stop people would get on, and then their faces would brighten so fast and there was such a feeling of commonality and goodness on their faces. There was something special and significant there, and it is all thanks to the bus driver who doesn’t have enough personal shame not to dress up like a badly dressed old fat man. I have lately begun to appreciate Christmas in ways which I haven’t before. Though not all in North America profess Christ, or may even understand what Christmas is all about, there is still something there holding people together. Something special about this time of year which everybody understands, even if it is just fleeting or very subtle. Something is there which brings strangers together in a very small way. And that is cool. And it made me teary.
Then I cried again when Quincy gave his life to save Madame Mina from the evil vampires. It was very touching.
Yesterday was the first time that I remember ever eating a turnip. I’m not even sure if I made it right. Are you supposed to peel turnips? It seemed like a good thing to do, so I did it. I made Stock with it. But now I have a half of a turnip left, but don’t quite know how to cook it. Any help? Janie? Martha? Luke? John? I claim ignorance in turnip-ness. Perhaps its not even a turnip at all, but was something which seemed to me might be a turnip at the time. There was a bin of 4 things, and one of the labels above was turnips so I took my best guess. Don’t mock me for my ignorance – it’s not my fault that my mother deprived me of turnips as a child.
Anyway. Happy Christmastime, all. That’s all for now.
Oh, yeah. Wait. I met with Jenny Gerbasi this week at Hy’s Steak House. SWANKY! It was fun, and I learned lots and also got 2 free tickets to a Hillbilly Burlesque show, dessert, and a picture for my wall (not of Jenny, of Portage avenue, though I think I can tape a picture of her in front of the MTS centre. We’ll see). It was great, and very eye-opening. Sometimes I think my calling is in politics, sometimes I think my calling is more pastoral, other times I think and wish I was called to more of an unemployed and hippie-ish type life where I eat the roots out of my backyard and spend all day trying to make a non-animal harming djembe out of berries and moose snot. Sigh. Where will the future lead? Who the heck knows?
Monday, December 11, 2006
Is Water A Human Right?
In 2002, Canada was the only nation to vote against accepting water as a human right at the United Nations Commission on Human Rights. Canada has not since changed it stance on water in International affairs. This stance also affects Canada’s domestic water policies, as the inquiry into the Walkerton water situation discovered that Canadians are not guaranteed the right to water anywhere in Canadian legislation.
Why are the implications of proclaiming water as a human right?
1) If water is declared a human right, than privatization of water is limited or abolished altogether. This means that Internationally vendors and governments can no longer deny their customers and citizens access to water because they are not able to pay for it. This means less profits for governments and multinational corporations. People die and suffer everyday because they are denied access to water which is readily available, though they cannot afford it.
2) If water is declared a human right, governments will be forced and obligated to provide all of its citizens with healthy, potable water. Again I reference the situation in Walkerton. Likewise, there are a number of Canadian reserves which face issues of access to safe drinking water. If water is declared a human right domestically, the federal government would have to address these issues and be responsible for providing potable water to all communities.
3) If water is declared a human right, governments will be forced to mandate more strict environmental controls into place to protect this human right.
I have provided some resources which I encourage you to take some time and look at. I have also added a voice defending water privatization for some balance. If you feel so moved to contact the government to speak out against this situation, click here.
The Council of Canadians
Blue Planet Project
World Health Organization
CBC News In-Depth
Pro-Water Privatization
THE UNTAPPED POTENTIAL OF WATER PRIVATIZATION - a report paid for by American Water Works Inc.
Why are the implications of proclaiming water as a human right?
1) If water is declared a human right, than privatization of water is limited or abolished altogether. This means that Internationally vendors and governments can no longer deny their customers and citizens access to water because they are not able to pay for it. This means less profits for governments and multinational corporations. People die and suffer everyday because they are denied access to water which is readily available, though they cannot afford it.
2) If water is declared a human right, governments will be forced and obligated to provide all of its citizens with healthy, potable water. Again I reference the situation in Walkerton. Likewise, there are a number of Canadian reserves which face issues of access to safe drinking water. If water is declared a human right domestically, the federal government would have to address these issues and be responsible for providing potable water to all communities.
3) If water is declared a human right, governments will be forced to mandate more strict environmental controls into place to protect this human right.
I have provided some resources which I encourage you to take some time and look at. I have also added a voice defending water privatization for some balance. If you feel so moved to contact the government to speak out against this situation, click here.
The Council of Canadians
Blue Planet Project
World Health Organization
CBC News In-Depth
Pro-Water Privatization
THE UNTAPPED POTENTIAL OF WATER PRIVATIZATION - a report paid for by American Water Works Inc.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
thank you all . . .
. . . for thinking that i am cooler than I actually am.
Most of you thought that I chose Ace Burpee. Nay, you have too much faith in my coolness. I chose councillor Jenny Gerbasi. She is actually one of my local heros - she does great things to fight poverty and to fight for equality of everybody. So I will have lunch and bask in the wonder that is her for an hour. I am really looking forward to learning as much as I can from her.
Does anybody know that I am still considering politics as a career? Does anybody else know that Ace Burpee and I went to the same high school, knows my brother, and that I know his real name? I am afraid of being sued, so I won't tell you what it is.
More questions: Who the heck thought I would hang out with the Manitoba Hydro Guy? And who is it who still thought, and probably continues to think, that I didn't win this stellar prize? It is true. I will give you an update after it actually happens. I don't want to be a geek or anything and stalk her or whatever, but I would really like to have a picture taken of this momentous event. Would somebody be willing to hang out at the restaurant and take discreet pictures of us? You know, pretend you are taking a picture of the plant or the sexy lady at the table (me) but actually be taking a picture of me, Jenny Gerbasi, and the security guard who most likely accompanies her everywhere?
In other news. A bunch of wonderful sexy ladies chipped in around my birthday and gave me money to buy a drum. Thanks, girls! I have chosen one. Its very pretty. Unfortunatly nobody else is here to take my picture of me drumming on it, so i attempted to photoshop a pic of me playing a drum. It didn't work, as I don't have a picture of myself in that position. So then I tried to photoshop a picture of my head and hand onto it. It was creepy because I was a floating head and hand around this drum (my mom would like it, though). So then I tried to photoshop a body of a little person onto my head, but this particular little person was wearing all black so it didn't really turn out too well. So then I gave the person a yellow shirt. Yay!
Thanks, girls!
Oh, yeah. And check out this Adbusters article: Who Owns the Word Terror? It's interesting. Words are so powerful.
B
Most of you thought that I chose Ace Burpee. Nay, you have too much faith in my coolness. I chose councillor Jenny Gerbasi. She is actually one of my local heros - she does great things to fight poverty and to fight for equality of everybody. So I will have lunch and bask in the wonder that is her for an hour. I am really looking forward to learning as much as I can from her.
Does anybody know that I am still considering politics as a career? Does anybody else know that Ace Burpee and I went to the same high school, knows my brother, and that I know his real name? I am afraid of being sued, so I won't tell you what it is.
More questions: Who the heck thought I would hang out with the Manitoba Hydro Guy? And who is it who still thought, and probably continues to think, that I didn't win this stellar prize? It is true. I will give you an update after it actually happens. I don't want to be a geek or anything and stalk her or whatever, but I would really like to have a picture taken of this momentous event. Would somebody be willing to hang out at the restaurant and take discreet pictures of us? You know, pretend you are taking a picture of the plant or the sexy lady at the table (me) but actually be taking a picture of me, Jenny Gerbasi, and the security guard who most likely accompanies her everywhere?
In other news. A bunch of wonderful sexy ladies chipped in around my birthday and gave me money to buy a drum. Thanks, girls! I have chosen one. Its very pretty. Unfortunatly nobody else is here to take my picture of me drumming on it, so i attempted to photoshop a pic of me playing a drum. It didn't work, as I don't have a picture of myself in that position. So then I tried to photoshop a picture of my head and hand onto it. It was creepy because I was a floating head and hand around this drum (my mom would like it, though). So then I tried to photoshop a body of a little person onto my head, but this particular little person was wearing all black so it didn't really turn out too well. So then I gave the person a yellow shirt. Yay!
Thanks, girls!
Oh, yeah. And check out this Adbusters article: Who Owns the Word Terror? It's interesting. Words are so powerful.
B
Friday, December 01, 2006
Super Random
So I won a lunch with a downtown celebrity. No, I am not joking. I had a choice of four individuals:
- Ace Burpee - Hot 103 DJ
- R.B. Brennen - CEO of Manitoba Hydro
- Scott Arniel - head coach of Manitoba Moose
- Jenny Gerbasi - City Councillor
I thought it would be great fun if you guys tell me who you thought I chose. Follow this link to vote (feel free to leave your name in the comment section . . . or not)
Survey
The "Truth" will be revealed on Wednesday! Have fun!
- Ace Burpee - Hot 103 DJ
- R.B. Brennen - CEO of Manitoba Hydro
- Scott Arniel - head coach of Manitoba Moose
- Jenny Gerbasi - City Councillor
I thought it would be great fun if you guys tell me who you thought I chose. Follow this link to vote (feel free to leave your name in the comment section . . . or not)
Survey
The "Truth" will be revealed on Wednesday! Have fun!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
surgeon general's warning
Do NOT go see Fast Food Nation. It can be hazardous to your health. One of, if not the WORST movies I have EVER seen. bad writing, bad acting, even set lighting which does not fit the tone of the movie. I have never seen this much unnecessary drama since the Backstreet Boys came to Winnipeg (that one's for you, Kara). I would rather watch 18 hours straight of full house, sticking a needle into my eye everytime Michelle says "You got it dude" than have unsuspecting friends throw away their money and time on this movie.
Anyway, enough of that rant.
A few weeks ago me, Mom, Candy, and Lisa went down to the states for some serious female bonding. Enjoy the pics:
Anyway, enough of that rant.
A few weeks ago me, Mom, Candy, and Lisa went down to the states for some serious female bonding. Enjoy the pics:
Monday, November 20, 2006
essence
Last week I watched the film "Everything is Illuminated" with a very small group of people. The first half of the movie was honestly one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I laughed so hard, I even did my famous cackle. It was "premium."
The second half was significantly more intense, emotional, and sad. It was deep. Sometimes too deep for me or my boss or other people in the group who tried to understand what the heck happened at certain parts. But it was very good and very enjoyable and I would like other people to see it so that I could quote all of the funnyness like Napoleon Dynamite and so we could all laugh together. Sammy David Jr. Jr.?
Afterwards we had a discussion - the movie was about a young Jewish man who was trying to dig into his family history. Lots of stuff about the Nazis, and lots of painful memories of people. During the discussion an individual said, and I use these quotes loosely, "The essence of Christianity is believing, while the essence of Judaism is remembering." I believe he was quoting a rabbai friend of his, which hopefully gives this more credibility.
This made me ponder a lot and has made me feel very jealous towards Judaism. The essense of Christianity is believing - that is very true. But honestly, sometimes that sucks. Or that is a very frustrating and struggling thing for me. To have something so intangible, something that can at times be so plagued with doubt that you doubt its very credibility, that it is very hard sometimes to find meaning in believing something which you cannot see. There are often days, weeks, - sometimes significantly longer, which I try so hard to find something meaningful in this world in the lens of Christianity and of Christ, and I cannot. The purpose of pain and suffering in this world is one which plagues me because the point of it seems so "out there," so intangibly hard to grasp in light of our (and, most especially, friends and family's) mortality. I used to be able to see meaning in pain for the purpose of character building, soul building, but since J's death this has been hard and I have become cynical about this. It is hard to hold onto hope and hard to find value in something that seems so utterly unnecesary.
i think spelled that wrong.
I envy Judaism. To have an essence in remembering - to be able to point to that for meaning, to find value and, to a point, salvation, in remembering the past - that i can see is very significant. very poignant, and very powerful. Also very much more excitingly tangible. I personally can see very much significance, power, and meaningfulness in this essence.
The second half was significantly more intense, emotional, and sad. It was deep. Sometimes too deep for me or my boss or other people in the group who tried to understand what the heck happened at certain parts. But it was very good and very enjoyable and I would like other people to see it so that I could quote all of the funnyness like Napoleon Dynamite and so we could all laugh together. Sammy David Jr. Jr.?
Afterwards we had a discussion - the movie was about a young Jewish man who was trying to dig into his family history. Lots of stuff about the Nazis, and lots of painful memories of people. During the discussion an individual said, and I use these quotes loosely, "The essence of Christianity is believing, while the essence of Judaism is remembering." I believe he was quoting a rabbai friend of his, which hopefully gives this more credibility.
This made me ponder a lot and has made me feel very jealous towards Judaism. The essense of Christianity is believing - that is very true. But honestly, sometimes that sucks. Or that is a very frustrating and struggling thing for me. To have something so intangible, something that can at times be so plagued with doubt that you doubt its very credibility, that it is very hard sometimes to find meaning in believing something which you cannot see. There are often days, weeks, - sometimes significantly longer, which I try so hard to find something meaningful in this world in the lens of Christianity and of Christ, and I cannot. The purpose of pain and suffering in this world is one which plagues me because the point of it seems so "out there," so intangibly hard to grasp in light of our (and, most especially, friends and family's) mortality. I used to be able to see meaning in pain for the purpose of character building, soul building, but since J's death this has been hard and I have become cynical about this. It is hard to hold onto hope and hard to find value in something that seems so utterly unnecesary.
i think spelled that wrong.
I envy Judaism. To have an essence in remembering - to be able to point to that for meaning, to find value and, to a point, salvation, in remembering the past - that i can see is very significant. very poignant, and very powerful. Also very much more excitingly tangible. I personally can see very much significance, power, and meaningfulness in this essence.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
anybody like heathen music?
I have an extra ticket for Powerball on Thursday (Theory of a Dead Man, 3 Days Grace, and some other groups I don't care about). Wanna come? Or know somebody who wants to come? (I can make friends, pretty easily. They won't even have to talk to me. Just buy me a corn dog and I'll be happy). Email me or post a comment if you don't have my email addy, or if you merely are a strange person who doesn't know me but wants to get in on this.
bre
bre
Monday, November 13, 2006
ramblings . . . not even good ones
First of all, kudos to Dave for beating me to a posting on the Easy Answer Squirrel. Check out Wondercafe, and click on the squirrel on the lower right. Awesome. Also, if you are bold enough, check out the print ads (click on “Ad Campaign”). They are wonderfully disturbing.
Onto other things. Some weeks it is hard to find something to post on, but this week it is far too easy. I am quite stressed out and as such don’t think that I am physically able to put much feelings into words, at least not effectively. So I will choose one of the simplest thoughts I have had this week and try to be coherant – hopefully my thoughts on the rest will sustain until I actually have time to devote to writing about them.
During my weekly SCM group at the U of M, we were speaking about lots of issues – liberation theology, human rights, peace – the normal good stuff. We were also speaking about choices, that there are so many choices out there, so many choices, both good and bad, to make which help or harm people (or help or harm ourselves). Sometimes it is difficult to make a descent choice – even when the shades of good and back are pretty starkly black and white. Then one of the individuals said something along the lines of “We have already made our decision on what we are going to. We decided to follow Jesus. That’s it.” That was pretty cool. It is funny to think about how many things that I struggle with – how many things that I toy with what to do – when, if I am truthful to my testimony, I have already decided about long ago. It’s a funny, and even liberating way to think about life. Should I forgive this person? That’s not even a question. I decided years ago that I would follow Jesus. Following Jesus means living a life of forgiveness. I think the hardest questions in terms of this fall around issues which are a bit grey, especially those which mostly affects me and not anybody else. The biggest issues for me lately in this respect is, “should I keep pursuing this faith?” “should I keep striving to become closer to Christ?” “should I keep pursuing justice even though it seems so useless and it doesn’t seem to make any difference?” “should I do my best to follow Jesus today?” Yes. I made up my mind about these a long time ago. It’s silly to even come back to them – I gave that answer years ago, I made up my mind long ago. I will pursue Jesus. I will strive to become more like Him in my attitudes, spirit, and behaviors. Frick, that’s hard. But beautiful. And that’s cool.
Onto other things. Some weeks it is hard to find something to post on, but this week it is far too easy. I am quite stressed out and as such don’t think that I am physically able to put much feelings into words, at least not effectively. So I will choose one of the simplest thoughts I have had this week and try to be coherant – hopefully my thoughts on the rest will sustain until I actually have time to devote to writing about them.
During my weekly SCM group at the U of M, we were speaking about lots of issues – liberation theology, human rights, peace – the normal good stuff. We were also speaking about choices, that there are so many choices out there, so many choices, both good and bad, to make which help or harm people (or help or harm ourselves). Sometimes it is difficult to make a descent choice – even when the shades of good and back are pretty starkly black and white. Then one of the individuals said something along the lines of “We have already made our decision on what we are going to. We decided to follow Jesus. That’s it.” That was pretty cool. It is funny to think about how many things that I struggle with – how many things that I toy with what to do – when, if I am truthful to my testimony, I have already decided about long ago. It’s a funny, and even liberating way to think about life. Should I forgive this person? That’s not even a question. I decided years ago that I would follow Jesus. Following Jesus means living a life of forgiveness. I think the hardest questions in terms of this fall around issues which are a bit grey, especially those which mostly affects me and not anybody else. The biggest issues for me lately in this respect is, “should I keep pursuing this faith?” “should I keep striving to become closer to Christ?” “should I keep pursuing justice even though it seems so useless and it doesn’t seem to make any difference?” “should I do my best to follow Jesus today?” Yes. I made up my mind about these a long time ago. It’s silly to even come back to them – I gave that answer years ago, I made up my mind long ago. I will pursue Jesus. I will strive to become more like Him in my attitudes, spirit, and behaviors. Frick, that’s hard. But beautiful. And that’s cool.
Monday, November 06, 2006
2 important things . . .
Check out "The Wuzzles" blog - you can find their link under "Links" (I know, I am creative) on the right hand side. You can see my stellar Care Bear birthday cake there! Thanks, all for the great birthday parties from this last week!
Thought for the week: "It needs to start feeling strange when you flush the toilet with water that you could be drinking." - Anna Weier (Geez Magazine, Summer 2006) In light of severe water shortages worldwide and the upcoming water crisis, it has started feeling strange to me already. Anybody have any thoughts on this? I don't have the time or energy to expand today, but "they" say that the wars of the future will be fought over water . . .
The Council of Canadians (of which I am a proud member) has lots of info on Water privitization, water as a human right, Canada's water policy, etc, if you want to read up a bit on water issues, if I haven't already preached enough to you personally.
Bre
Thought for the week: "It needs to start feeling strange when you flush the toilet with water that you could be drinking." - Anna Weier (Geez Magazine, Summer 2006) In light of severe water shortages worldwide and the upcoming water crisis, it has started feeling strange to me already. Anybody have any thoughts on this? I don't have the time or energy to expand today, but "they" say that the wars of the future will be fought over water . . .
The Council of Canadians (of which I am a proud member) has lots of info on Water privitization, water as a human right, Canada's water policy, etc, if you want to read up a bit on water issues, if I haven't already preached enough to you personally.
Bre
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
26 on 31
"it's a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life."
I think that is from a Michael Buble song, but I'm not sure. nevertheless, it has been in my head for the last few days.
today i am 26. and have decided to start my new life today. to make not only new life resolutions, but a whole new beginning.
This is cool. I don't quite know what this means, honestly, and I accept the fact that it may only last about 2 more hours. but i have decided to step forward starting today, to look at the past not as something to be continually longed for, but more as a guideline, a "lonely planet" as to how I want to live out my future. to be thankful for experiences which, though may have turned sour, were really really good at that moment and deserve to be cherished. to look back with fondness at my relationships with very good people, and to focus on that and not the sometimes devestating loss of these relationships and these people in my life. to go with the flow more, to practice experiencing joy, not take myself or life too seriously when life does not warrant it, and to take myself super seriously when the moment demands it - when there is injustice, when there is oppression, when things which are urgent but unimportant take precedence over things which are important but non-urgent. To see how much more important it is to appreciate a sunset, a game of puppet show, the beauty of a quiet moment, to see how much more important these things are than other urgent silly things such as work deadlines, car maintenance - to focus on my goals, to really prioritize what is truly important, to love and serve God with my entire life and to continue the dance that we have started so many years ago.
I realize this is very abstract. sorry about this.
I am committed to the following:
1. Being less dramatic. That is, not to heighten situations to points where they should not be heightened, and not looking for negative attention through unnecessary drama.
2. Simplifying my life. In terms of possessions, but mostly in terms of my schedule. I have no idea how I am going to fix my crazy schedule problem. But I am committed to a life ethos of focusing on the important, even though at the time there may be more urgent but unimportant tasks. Please help me figure this out.
3. To be myself, passionately and unashamedly. To see truth - to love myself as a true creation of God with wonderful gifts, abilities, and attributes. To find a balance between challenging myself to become more and to grow yet embrace the person who i am at that moment. To allow myself the grace to continue when i fall. To "go with the flow" a bit more (that one's for you, Odes).
I will fail at these, for sure. But that's ok - its a process and i think new lives take a bit of practice, so its all good. any help from my friends is greatly appreciated (I have the BEST friends, by the way. They are all stellar, and I am truly blessed).
Happy Birthday to me,
Bre
I think that is from a Michael Buble song, but I'm not sure. nevertheless, it has been in my head for the last few days.
today i am 26. and have decided to start my new life today. to make not only new life resolutions, but a whole new beginning.
This is cool. I don't quite know what this means, honestly, and I accept the fact that it may only last about 2 more hours. but i have decided to step forward starting today, to look at the past not as something to be continually longed for, but more as a guideline, a "lonely planet" as to how I want to live out my future. to be thankful for experiences which, though may have turned sour, were really really good at that moment and deserve to be cherished. to look back with fondness at my relationships with very good people, and to focus on that and not the sometimes devestating loss of these relationships and these people in my life. to go with the flow more, to practice experiencing joy, not take myself or life too seriously when life does not warrant it, and to take myself super seriously when the moment demands it - when there is injustice, when there is oppression, when things which are urgent but unimportant take precedence over things which are important but non-urgent. To see how much more important it is to appreciate a sunset, a game of puppet show, the beauty of a quiet moment, to see how much more important these things are than other urgent silly things such as work deadlines, car maintenance - to focus on my goals, to really prioritize what is truly important, to love and serve God with my entire life and to continue the dance that we have started so many years ago.
I realize this is very abstract. sorry about this.
I am committed to the following:
1. Being less dramatic. That is, not to heighten situations to points where they should not be heightened, and not looking for negative attention through unnecessary drama.
2. Simplifying my life. In terms of possessions, but mostly in terms of my schedule. I have no idea how I am going to fix my crazy schedule problem. But I am committed to a life ethos of focusing on the important, even though at the time there may be more urgent but unimportant tasks. Please help me figure this out.
3. To be myself, passionately and unashamedly. To see truth - to love myself as a true creation of God with wonderful gifts, abilities, and attributes. To find a balance between challenging myself to become more and to grow yet embrace the person who i am at that moment. To allow myself the grace to continue when i fall. To "go with the flow" a bit more (that one's for you, Odes).
I will fail at these, for sure. But that's ok - its a process and i think new lives take a bit of practice, so its all good. any help from my friends is greatly appreciated (I have the BEST friends, by the way. They are all stellar, and I am truly blessed).
Happy Birthday to me,
Bre
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
my hair is purple
once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a beautiful princess named bre. bre's kingdom was not extremely wealthy, so she did not have stores of gold, scads of bmw's, or rooms full of mac computers (she did, however, live in a great country and was among the wealthiest 25% of the entire world, so really she was pretty well off). Princess Bre always struggled with wanting things. Worse off, she struggled with being owned by her possessions. One day she realized that this was a major problem, and she tried hard to curb her expenditures, focus on paying off her debt, and try to realize a rich life without silly things like dvd sets, laptop computers, and a nice car (well, the car was a mistake).
She struggled and struggled and struggled with wanting lots and lots of things. And then she got to a point where she was able to let go of wanting bigger and better possessions. And this was great. And sometimes she was able to make it past an HMV without feeling like she NEEDED to go in. And it was literally 3 months since she logged onto Ebay. She was making headway. Yay for Princess Bre! She is conquering consumerism!
unfortunately, as in all fairy tales, bad things happened. Princess Bre was having a birthday. It is tradition that every year Princess Bre allows herself to buy something fun that she would not normally purchase. This year was different, though. "I honestly don't want anything," said Princess Bre. "There is nothing really that I desire that is under $100." This seemed curious to her, but she was happy about this, as it meant that her addiction to consumerism was getting better.
She did, however, walk past the music store. "That's it!" she said. "I would love to buy myself a new drum!" This she thought was useful as she could buy herself a smaller drum that could be brought along on camping trips or other places which it would be useful, but awkward to take her big drum.
A few days later she walked past the UM bookstore. "That's it!" she said. "I would love a UM sweatshirt!" Then she thought of how much she would like a UW sweatshirt. Then she thought about how sweet it would be to get a DVD recorder, some cool 80's cartoon paraphanalia (because she doesn't have enough), a star trek dvd set, a new vcr before they stop making them, a popcorn maker, a shelf unit, some cool books, a new bed tent (just kidding), a kicking new journal, a blender, a descent pot set, a kangaroo, more muppet figures, and a subsciption to Oprah magazine.
Suddenly Princess Bre was not so content with her life. There were so many things that she desired, and felt that she could NOT live without. she NEEDS all of these things to be a happy person.
And then Princess Bre realized that she messed up a pretty good thing, and fell right back into her problem of wanting and wanting and desiring so many things. "Stupid birthday," said Princess Bre. "It ruined my life." Princess Bre is a very dramatic individual. However, she is also highly attractive and very determined to always grow, and she was confident that she would be able to beat this returned desire for consumption. Someday.
The end.
p.s. Wednesday is election day. Please, please, please vote. i don't care who you vote for, just vote (well, i do care, but that's my problem).
p.p.s. Due to popular demand, there is now a "cool winnipeg-ness" section at the right of your screen. No, the right. Look over there --> Yes! There it is. This will be constantly updated. Fun.
p.p.p.s. don't forget the "take some sweet action" links under the cool winnipeg-ness and change the world with me and lots of other people who super care about justice, the earth, and the importance of giving everybody a fair chance.
adios!
She struggled and struggled and struggled with wanting lots and lots of things. And then she got to a point where she was able to let go of wanting bigger and better possessions. And this was great. And sometimes she was able to make it past an HMV without feeling like she NEEDED to go in. And it was literally 3 months since she logged onto Ebay. She was making headway. Yay for Princess Bre! She is conquering consumerism!
unfortunately, as in all fairy tales, bad things happened. Princess Bre was having a birthday. It is tradition that every year Princess Bre allows herself to buy something fun that she would not normally purchase. This year was different, though. "I honestly don't want anything," said Princess Bre. "There is nothing really that I desire that is under $100." This seemed curious to her, but she was happy about this, as it meant that her addiction to consumerism was getting better.
She did, however, walk past the music store. "That's it!" she said. "I would love to buy myself a new drum!" This she thought was useful as she could buy herself a smaller drum that could be brought along on camping trips or other places which it would be useful, but awkward to take her big drum.
A few days later she walked past the UM bookstore. "That's it!" she said. "I would love a UM sweatshirt!" Then she thought of how much she would like a UW sweatshirt. Then she thought about how sweet it would be to get a DVD recorder, some cool 80's cartoon paraphanalia (because she doesn't have enough), a star trek dvd set, a new vcr before they stop making them, a popcorn maker, a shelf unit, some cool books, a new bed tent (just kidding), a kicking new journal, a blender, a descent pot set, a kangaroo, more muppet figures, and a subsciption to Oprah magazine.
Suddenly Princess Bre was not so content with her life. There were so many things that she desired, and felt that she could NOT live without. she NEEDS all of these things to be a happy person.
And then Princess Bre realized that she messed up a pretty good thing, and fell right back into her problem of wanting and wanting and desiring so many things. "Stupid birthday," said Princess Bre. "It ruined my life." Princess Bre is a very dramatic individual. However, she is also highly attractive and very determined to always grow, and she was confident that she would be able to beat this returned desire for consumption. Someday.
The end.
p.s. Wednesday is election day. Please, please, please vote. i don't care who you vote for, just vote (well, i do care, but that's my problem).
p.p.s. Due to popular demand, there is now a "cool winnipeg-ness" section at the right of your screen. No, the right. Look over there --> Yes! There it is. This will be constantly updated. Fun.
p.p.p.s. don't forget the "take some sweet action" links under the cool winnipeg-ness and change the world with me and lots of other people who super care about justice, the earth, and the importance of giving everybody a fair chance.
adios!
Friday, October 20, 2006
High Efficiency Worship
Check out this article:
High Efficiency Worship
It appears in my favorite magazine, Geez. Info on Geez can be found on the webpage.
Let the world know what you think - leave a comment!
bre
High Efficiency Worship
It appears in my favorite magazine, Geez. Info on Geez can be found on the webpage.
Let the world know what you think - leave a comment!
bre
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
whoa! two posts in one week!
I just want to make everybody aware of an event coming up this friday entitled
OPERATION BLESS OUR ENEMIES: A religious gathering to coincide with the opening of the Franklin Graham Festival.
Friday, October 20, at 5:15 p.m. at Knox United Church (400 Edmonton Street, 1 1/2 blocks north of Portage Place).
Background information on this can be found online at http://geezmagazine.org/blessourenemies.
I am not endorsing this event, as I haven't really gotten a real chance to research these issues. But I highly respect the organizers of this event, so will be researching myself as to what I think about all of this.
CNN does quote Franklin Graham as saying the following: (emphasis mine)
Graham: And this may sound rough, Judy, but we need to use every weapon in our arsenal that need be to defeat this enemy. And I don't think we should hold back. And we'll make a great mistake if we hold back our technology and hold back our weapons and put young men and women in there and sacrifice them because we're scared to use some of our major weapons. And I think we're going to have to use every -- and I hate to say it, hellish weapon in our inventory, if need be, to defeat these people.
WOODRUFF: Do you really believe that the American people are prepared now to have young Americans die?
GRAHAM: No. But I think they're prepared to stop this, and not to put our young men needlessly or our young women needlessly. And yes, there may be some young men and women whose lives may be lost, and I pray not. And that's why I think we need to use these weapons that we have, and not our young men and not our young women and just sacrifice them as (UNINTELLIGIBLE). But let's use the weapons we have, the weapons of mass destruction if need be and destroy the enemy.
This makes me sad, as I am (was?) a big fan of Franklin Graham and of Samaritan's Purse. I will be doing more research on this, but wanted to throw that out there.
OPERATION BLESS OUR ENEMIES: A religious gathering to coincide with the opening of the Franklin Graham Festival.
Friday, October 20, at 5:15 p.m. at Knox United Church (400 Edmonton Street, 1 1/2 blocks north of Portage Place).
Background information on this can be found online at http://geezmagazine.org/blessourenemies.
I am not endorsing this event, as I haven't really gotten a real chance to research these issues. But I highly respect the organizers of this event, so will be researching myself as to what I think about all of this.
CNN does quote Franklin Graham as saying the following: (emphasis mine)
Graham: And this may sound rough, Judy, but we need to use every weapon in our arsenal that need be to defeat this enemy. And I don't think we should hold back. And we'll make a great mistake if we hold back our technology and hold back our weapons and put young men and women in there and sacrifice them because we're scared to use some of our major weapons. And I think we're going to have to use every -- and I hate to say it, hellish weapon in our inventory, if need be, to defeat these people.
WOODRUFF: Do you really believe that the American people are prepared now to have young Americans die?
GRAHAM: No. But I think they're prepared to stop this, and not to put our young men needlessly or our young women needlessly. And yes, there may be some young men and women whose lives may be lost, and I pray not. And that's why I think we need to use these weapons that we have, and not our young men and not our young women and just sacrifice them as (UNINTELLIGIBLE). But let's use the weapons we have, the weapons of mass destruction if need be and destroy the enemy.
This makes me sad, as I am (was?) a big fan of Franklin Graham and of Samaritan's Purse. I will be doing more research on this, but wanted to throw that out there.
Monday, October 16, 2006
the never-ending treasure hunt
Man, kids are cool.
This is my nephew. He is fun.
This is my other nephew. He is fun, too, but this story is not about him. But I want him to have his picture on the internet, ‘cause he’s cute.
Seth is 4 years old. Sometimes he is sweet, sometimes he is fun, sometimes he is a terror, and sometimes he whines. But mostly he is sweet and fun and I adore him.
I was sort of shamed to discover something this week. I often play with him – usually cars, or treasure hunt, or puppet show, or some other game that he likes that day or that is around. I have played with him unnumerable times during his short life, and especially now that I live downstairs from him.
Last week he came down to play, and instead of normally rushing through play time like I would normally do because there is something else I should be getting to, I really took time, sat down with him, and really played WITH him. For, I think, the first time in his young life. I came down to his level, gave him as much attention possible, and really tried to understand him and play and explore instead of rushing through things, or going through the motions of the treasure hunt without actually engaging him through it. OK. Treasure hunt time. I will just follow you and try to pretend to be surprised when we find the treasure though I know exactly where it is because you hid it in the same place the last 6 treasure hunts we went on in the last 30 minutes.
We sat down together. And we PLAYED. And it was cool. Though sometimes I thought I would go insane because we did the same puppet show about 18 times over and he would be upset at me if I would change the smallest part of the puppet show - innate repetition seems to be one of his favorite things in the world. But I really tried to focus on the joy in his eyes and really tried to be excited about spiderman saving Lightning McQueen from certain death over and over and over and over and over again. To play with him – to not just go through the required motions, to be there in that moment fully and completely, like there is NOTHING else in the world as important as saving Lightning McQueen even though he is dumb enough to drive himself into another dangerous situation. To really have that be the most important thing in the world, and not be thinking about what else I SHOULD be doing. That’s cool. And radical, even. And I am a bit ashamed that I was playing with him so often in ways that were not really meaningful.
He’s very smart. He knows when people are listening, when they are not, when they are engaged, and when their mind is somewhere else. So I am trying to really, whenever he comes downstairs to play, to put aside WHATEVER I am doing to really just BE with him. And this is cool. And it seems that he is coming downstairs more often, and simply the amount of eye contact we have, our smiles and giggles together, have increased. And I wonder why I was so dumb that I didn’t realize that I was robbing him of my complete and whole attention before.
Sorry, Monkey. Sorry for wasting so much time, and for disrespecting your need for real connection and real engagement when we play puppet show and treasure hunt. I look forward to many more puppet shows and treasure hunts in the future. Love you!
Auntie Tootsie
This is my nephew. He is fun.
This is my other nephew. He is fun, too, but this story is not about him. But I want him to have his picture on the internet, ‘cause he’s cute.
Seth is 4 years old. Sometimes he is sweet, sometimes he is fun, sometimes he is a terror, and sometimes he whines. But mostly he is sweet and fun and I adore him.
I was sort of shamed to discover something this week. I often play with him – usually cars, or treasure hunt, or puppet show, or some other game that he likes that day or that is around. I have played with him unnumerable times during his short life, and especially now that I live downstairs from him.
Last week he came down to play, and instead of normally rushing through play time like I would normally do because there is something else I should be getting to, I really took time, sat down with him, and really played WITH him. For, I think, the first time in his young life. I came down to his level, gave him as much attention possible, and really tried to understand him and play and explore instead of rushing through things, or going through the motions of the treasure hunt without actually engaging him through it. OK. Treasure hunt time. I will just follow you and try to pretend to be surprised when we find the treasure though I know exactly where it is because you hid it in the same place the last 6 treasure hunts we went on in the last 30 minutes.
We sat down together. And we PLAYED. And it was cool. Though sometimes I thought I would go insane because we did the same puppet show about 18 times over and he would be upset at me if I would change the smallest part of the puppet show - innate repetition seems to be one of his favorite things in the world. But I really tried to focus on the joy in his eyes and really tried to be excited about spiderman saving Lightning McQueen from certain death over and over and over and over and over again. To play with him – to not just go through the required motions, to be there in that moment fully and completely, like there is NOTHING else in the world as important as saving Lightning McQueen even though he is dumb enough to drive himself into another dangerous situation. To really have that be the most important thing in the world, and not be thinking about what else I SHOULD be doing. That’s cool. And radical, even. And I am a bit ashamed that I was playing with him so often in ways that were not really meaningful.
He’s very smart. He knows when people are listening, when they are not, when they are engaged, and when their mind is somewhere else. So I am trying to really, whenever he comes downstairs to play, to put aside WHATEVER I am doing to really just BE with him. And this is cool. And it seems that he is coming downstairs more often, and simply the amount of eye contact we have, our smiles and giggles together, have increased. And I wonder why I was so dumb that I didn’t realize that I was robbing him of my complete and whole attention before.
Sorry, Monkey. Sorry for wasting so much time, and for disrespecting your need for real connection and real engagement when we play puppet show and treasure hunt. I look forward to many more puppet shows and treasure hunts in the future. Love you!
Auntie Tootsie
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Fair Trade Manitoba
*****UPDATED OCTOBER 11th*****
I found the Fair Trade Manitoba Webpage! Info on becoming a member can be found here (click on "about us" and then scroll to the near bottom). Membership is FREE!
On October 17th at 7 pm in Eckhardt-Grammate Hall in the University of Winnipeg, there will be a film screening of Black Gold: Wake up and Smell the Coffee as well as the official public launch of Fair Trade Manitoba.
I am proud to say that I am a member of Fair Trade Manitoba - an action network promoting awareness of, and support for, fair trade issues among Manitobans. Issues of economic justice are very important to me and I am excited about this new organization. If you are at all interested in these issues, I encourage you to come out. The fee is $5 - $3 for students. I will definitly be there! Let me know if you are coming so we can hang out. Feel free to click the Black Gold link to see a preview of the movie.
Peace,
Bre
I found the Fair Trade Manitoba Webpage! Info on becoming a member can be found here (click on "about us" and then scroll to the near bottom). Membership is FREE!
On October 17th at 7 pm in Eckhardt-Grammate Hall in the University of Winnipeg, there will be a film screening of Black Gold: Wake up and Smell the Coffee as well as the official public launch of Fair Trade Manitoba.
I am proud to say that I am a member of Fair Trade Manitoba - an action network promoting awareness of, and support for, fair trade issues among Manitobans. Issues of economic justice are very important to me and I am excited about this new organization. If you are at all interested in these issues, I encourage you to come out. The fee is $5 - $3 for students. I will definitly be there! Let me know if you are coming so we can hang out. Feel free to click the Black Gold link to see a preview of the movie.
Peace,
Bre
Monday, October 02, 2006
a little break . . . mostly
my blog has been so serious lately. here's just some random thoughts and things which have been on my mind. not too serious today, which i think is needed, at least for myself.
First, the regal catalogue. i got this in the mail, and there are some fun things in there. First:
This is a cute picture, and it wouldn't be so bad, but the caption beneath it says: Now your dog can be warm AND stylish! Really, come on. Now I not only feel guilty for not being stylish myself, I feel guilty that my dog isn't stylish and will be made fun of by all of the other cooler dogs. Sick! Even worse, I don't have a dog to make stylish!
Way to go, Regal. This haircut guy is awesome. Lookit how happy he is!
On another note - i am truly and completly blessed. I was with a bunch of people, good people who i appreciate and enjoy muchly, and we were doing visualization exercises about when we really felt loved. I was thinking and was trying to pick from all of the times running around in my brain - when Janie sat with me in my tent, when ernie bought me a fringe pass, when odie makes me supper, when my mom tells me about her funny and fascinating life. I was astounded and floored when I realized that not everybody shares this experience, and that it is a struggle for some to think of one specific time which they felt completly loved. This has been such a part of my family and my friendships and of my college experience i think i have just taken it for granted. this re-kindles a passion in me, at least mildly, to love people as i have been loved, by Christ and by Christ through others. This used to be my passion, but has lately been taken over by a need for self-protection and basic fear of giving to people. i think i am on the way back . . . albeit slowly. There is such a need to share real, unconditional love to people that everybody needs. someday i will be able to do that again, i hope. i pray.
lastly, i found a great quote/passage which directly answers my question of my last post (a big thanks to all who commented on this post, by the way. Comments are awesome!). This passage has given me unspeakable peace. Problem is, some people consider this author to be pretty much a heretic. i don't, though. And since she is long gone, the text is public domain. Sweet! No danger of being sued! Here it is:
"The continual seeking of the soul pleaseth God full greatly: for it may do no more than seek, suffer and trust. And this is wrought in the soul that hath it, by the Holy Ghost; and the clearness of finding, it is of His special grace, when it is His will. The seeking, with faith, hope, and charity, pleaseth our Lord, adn the finding pleaseth the soul and fulfilleth it with joy. And thus I was learned, to mine understanding, that seeking is as good as beholding, for the time that He will suffer the soul to be in travail. It is God's will that we seek Him, to the beholding of Him, for by that He shall shew us Himself of His special grace when He will. And how a soul shall have Him in its beholding, He shall teach Himself, and that is most worship to Him and profit to thyself, an d(the soul thus) most receiveth of meekness and virtues with the grace and leading of the Holy Ghost. For a soul that only fasteneth itself on to God with very trust, either by seeking or in beholding, it is the most worship that it may do to Him."
- Julian of Norwich
First, the regal catalogue. i got this in the mail, and there are some fun things in there. First:
This is a cute picture, and it wouldn't be so bad, but the caption beneath it says: Now your dog can be warm AND stylish! Really, come on. Now I not only feel guilty for not being stylish myself, I feel guilty that my dog isn't stylish and will be made fun of by all of the other cooler dogs. Sick! Even worse, I don't have a dog to make stylish!
Way to go, Regal. This haircut guy is awesome. Lookit how happy he is!
On another note - i am truly and completly blessed. I was with a bunch of people, good people who i appreciate and enjoy muchly, and we were doing visualization exercises about when we really felt loved. I was thinking and was trying to pick from all of the times running around in my brain - when Janie sat with me in my tent, when ernie bought me a fringe pass, when odie makes me supper, when my mom tells me about her funny and fascinating life. I was astounded and floored when I realized that not everybody shares this experience, and that it is a struggle for some to think of one specific time which they felt completly loved. This has been such a part of my family and my friendships and of my college experience i think i have just taken it for granted. this re-kindles a passion in me, at least mildly, to love people as i have been loved, by Christ and by Christ through others. This used to be my passion, but has lately been taken over by a need for self-protection and basic fear of giving to people. i think i am on the way back . . . albeit slowly. There is such a need to share real, unconditional love to people that everybody needs. someday i will be able to do that again, i hope. i pray.
lastly, i found a great quote/passage which directly answers my question of my last post (a big thanks to all who commented on this post, by the way. Comments are awesome!). This passage has given me unspeakable peace. Problem is, some people consider this author to be pretty much a heretic. i don't, though. And since she is long gone, the text is public domain. Sweet! No danger of being sued! Here it is:
"The continual seeking of the soul pleaseth God full greatly: for it may do no more than seek, suffer and trust. And this is wrought in the soul that hath it, by the Holy Ghost; and the clearness of finding, it is of His special grace, when it is His will. The seeking, with faith, hope, and charity, pleaseth our Lord, adn the finding pleaseth the soul and fulfilleth it with joy. And thus I was learned, to mine understanding, that seeking is as good as beholding, for the time that He will suffer the soul to be in travail. It is God's will that we seek Him, to the beholding of Him, for by that He shall shew us Himself of His special grace when He will. And how a soul shall have Him in its beholding, He shall teach Himself, and that is most worship to Him and profit to thyself, an d(the soul thus) most receiveth of meekness and virtues with the grace and leading of the Holy Ghost. For a soul that only fasteneth itself on to God with very trust, either by seeking or in beholding, it is the most worship that it may do to Him."
- Julian of Norwich
Monday, September 25, 2006
???
Lately I have been wondering if I am on the wrong track. My desire is to serve God – in a way which is true to both his and my own character. Am I doing that? Have I gone off of the wrong track?
I think of how different I am now than I was 2 years ago. I think of how my passions have changed – my time and how I live my life looks very different now than it once did. Two years ago the church was my life. I gave it everything that I had. Outreach, for the purpose of introducing people to the character of Christ was utmost in my heart, mind, and prayers. I was excited to see others discover this God that I had discovered. I was excited to pursue God in ways which really encouraged creativity (and sometimes some silly off-the-wall-ness). I knocked on doors to understand how best the church could serve its community, and I just really really wanted to love people and to show them the great life and freedom that can be found in Christ.
Things are different now. I am passionate – but the thought of outreach for the pure purpose of introducing people to Christ makes me uncomfortable. I see much value in other religions and other spiritual practices. I have met and prayed with a number of Godly people who do not necessarily know the person of Christ, or at least not Christ as Savior. My passion is to see good done in the world – to fight oppression, to stand for justice. My passion is still to help and encourage others to pursue God in creative and unique ways which fit their unique creation, yet I am now very open that this pursuit and this worship of God can sincerely and powerfully occur outside of the region of Christiantiy.
At the risk of sounding too Oprah-ish I believe that God has grace, and that people can pursue him in so many different ways, including religions, which gives me great peace and excitement. It is great to see people find God in different places.
This is so different. And at times it haunts me. My semi-fundamentalist upbringing screams at me that Christ is the only way – that Christianity is the only way – that personal salvation is of utmost importance and that everything else is secondary. Yet in my pursuit of God in the last little while, this is not where God has taken me. I do believe that I have been sincere in following God to this point. I do believe that there is no other place that I can be right now.
But at times I question whether this journey is merely a reaction to some bad church-ness stuff in the past. Or if I am mistaking my own thoughts about justice and what is right for the Holy Spirit’s leading. How can I tell if I am lead by my own desires, or God’s desires?
I think of how different I am now than I was 2 years ago. I think of how my passions have changed – my time and how I live my life looks very different now than it once did. Two years ago the church was my life. I gave it everything that I had. Outreach, for the purpose of introducing people to the character of Christ was utmost in my heart, mind, and prayers. I was excited to see others discover this God that I had discovered. I was excited to pursue God in ways which really encouraged creativity (and sometimes some silly off-the-wall-ness). I knocked on doors to understand how best the church could serve its community, and I just really really wanted to love people and to show them the great life and freedom that can be found in Christ.
Things are different now. I am passionate – but the thought of outreach for the pure purpose of introducing people to Christ makes me uncomfortable. I see much value in other religions and other spiritual practices. I have met and prayed with a number of Godly people who do not necessarily know the person of Christ, or at least not Christ as Savior. My passion is to see good done in the world – to fight oppression, to stand for justice. My passion is still to help and encourage others to pursue God in creative and unique ways which fit their unique creation, yet I am now very open that this pursuit and this worship of God can sincerely and powerfully occur outside of the region of Christiantiy.
At the risk of sounding too Oprah-ish I believe that God has grace, and that people can pursue him in so many different ways, including religions, which gives me great peace and excitement. It is great to see people find God in different places.
This is so different. And at times it haunts me. My semi-fundamentalist upbringing screams at me that Christ is the only way – that Christianity is the only way – that personal salvation is of utmost importance and that everything else is secondary. Yet in my pursuit of God in the last little while, this is not where God has taken me. I do believe that I have been sincere in following God to this point. I do believe that there is no other place that I can be right now.
But at times I question whether this journey is merely a reaction to some bad church-ness stuff in the past. Or if I am mistaking my own thoughts about justice and what is right for the Holy Spirit’s leading. How can I tell if I am lead by my own desires, or God’s desires?
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