Thursday, October 13, 2005

martha stewart is still 63 years old

ok, i'm back but probably have to run away on short notice.

i learned today that martha stewart is 62 years old. holy scheninie. she is one hot mama. it was good to see her become a bit frustrated and almost angry on the apprentice yesterday. she seems far too perfect. why does everybody think that she is still so sweet? she's a criminal. sure, she didn't bite any heads off of children or anything, but she still broke the law. but canada still wants her to fly over so that she can canoe a pumpkin across the lake.

i don't understand.

anyway, she's hot. i'm sexually confident enough to say that. and i hope i look twice as good as her when i am old.

its a bit unfair, though, that rich people don't seem to have to grow old. sure, plastic surgury looks stupid, but it should be available to all, even if they work at mcdonalds. or menno simons college. i'm so tired of oppression.

62 years old. holy crap. how old is donald trump? how old is his toupee? really. for a billionaire you think he could afford something that doesn't look like a dead muskrat.

i wonder if people who have beards keep snacks in them just in case of a nuclear war.

some guy from ontario got into the world record book today, simply because he had a nipple hair that was almost 9 cm long. and apparantly he was complaining that people made fun of him too much. then CUT IT OFF. he obviously is not that smart. but kudos to him for getting in the record books before me. it will seriously devestate my friends to know that i am planning to go for the record in "most disgusting fungai-infested toenail ever." but eat it.

1 comment:

JAnie & DAve said...

Bre, i think you should post a pic of that infected toe nail, and then we can all give you advice about when to enter the competition for most infected toe nail. Friends give the worst advice sometimes though! Thanks for blogging the cow commment. I knew it would be a hit! Happy oranges to you!