Major award!

So this weekend I won a major award. No, it’s not quite the “soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.” But it does include a 6 month membership to the Y. Yes, the award of health. And great legs. Can’t get much better than that. I didn't win because I am smart, or pretty, but because some nice lady pulled my name out of a paper bag.

I like that lady.

Anyway.

I’ve decided to conduct a potentially revolutionary experiment this summer. I have decided to enjoy myself these next few sunny months. I know that sounds strange. But this year has been so full of obligations and so full of busyness relating to things which I am not interested in. It occurred to me the other day that perhaps God could be glorified by me doing things which I think fun, enjoyable, and feel passionate about.

I’ve realized that there are many things which I am involved in, lots of them which I am sort of confused exactly how I got involved in in the first place. Projects and groups which I really don’t have a strong interest or passion in, but are good things, things which are important, which need to be done, but nobody else seems willing to do. Can you say Messiah complex? I can.
Anyway, the summer of 2007 will be one in which I will focus on enjoying myself, in encouraging the development of my own gifts and interests, into saying yes to activities and involvements which I feel a strong affinity to and to which I believe fit my passions. And, most importantly, to leave time out for simple enjoyment. To take the kids to the park, to go on a mission to find the absolute best burger in Winnipeg, to not schedule every minute of my life (at first I think I will have to schedule in non-scheduling times, which I think sounds ludicrous, but give me some leeway here, I’m a beginner).

Basically, it could turn out to be an exercise in selfishness. Or a realization of what life and true worship is really looks like. The way I figure it, this gives me much more time and flexibility to be with friends, to put people before activities, to enjoy the blessings of this season, and to reconnect with an area of my spirituality which I have been ignoring.

I’ll keep you updated. Official start date is may 1st.

Yes, before you ask - I’ll still be attending work. I have to eat, you know.

Bre

oh, yeah. note to Matt Verhoog: Bite me.

happy 100th post!

This is officially my 100th blog post. Sweet! If I had one cent for each post, I would have a dollar and get to buy that Tea Horton Tea biscuit I've always wanted.

In celebration and to mark this momentous occasion, check out this Sale-Mart Ad.

Later, skaters.
bre

addendum

found this quote yesterday, thought it was very appropriate in regards to the last post.


"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow." -Mary Anne Radmacher


This type of courage is the type I think I sometimes lack. to pick myself up once i fall and to be willing to try life again.

But today I will try.

Later!
Bre

i fear i am losing credibility

Easter is cool.

Life is a funny beast.

i'm not quite sure how those two sentences are related, either.

back to the point: how many fresh starts can someone actually make? Is there a limit? is there a time where it just seems too silly to pick yourself up and try again?

I desire to declare another fresh start. Today. To let go of the past, to look forward to Christ and all which he has in store for me. To live with reckless abandonment, with dangerous wonder, and with RISK. To tell Satan to screw off with his negativity, with his alluring distractions, to grab hold of Christ's garments and REFUSE to let go.

Sounds dramatic.
And familiar, as I have said this before and always seem to end up in the exact same place.

It occurs to me that the Christian life is nothing but fresh starts. That we are told to pick up our cross and to follow Christ every day is significant - implying that this decision needs literally be made daily. The cross must be picked up everyday in a mindful and intentional manner. In the same way we are told to not look back on past mistakes or past sin, as we are cleansed from them and they have no hold on us anymore. I very much believe these two are related.

That being said, fresh starts are still hard to accomplish.

I have a hard time picking up my cross daily. For lots of different reasons - sometimes it is because there are more interesting things which seem to be calling me. Sometimes this whole Christian thing is too confusing or painful. Many times it is because I do not feel worthy or good enough to try this thing again today, as I have failed at it so many, many, many, MANY times. And sometimes it is because I simply don't want to.

But today is a new day. And I have decided to pick up my cross today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring - or even this afternoon or evening. I may fall, or drop it. In fact, you can count on it. But. I am convinced that the most important thing is what is happening at this very moment. That is all I can control right now. And right now, my eyes are upward, and my stance is firm. I will follow Christ. We'll see where he takes me.

It's been 3 days and I haven't seen any spiders. I leave my can of raid out in the open as a warning to all who dare to enter. It seems to be working.

I wish I could be inspired and write something very meaningful today, but life is too exhausting to have deep thoughts. Here is the best I can come up with:

I wonder why my oats are "steel cut."
I look really good in that dress.
I am eating way too much sugar again.
Sometimes I waiver in my belief of free will vs. determinism - desiring to unite the two into one small nice irrational package of "guided free choice" but am forced to see the flaw in that union, yet struggle with how much our rational minds can really understand the true workings of god and salvation.
Spam is "maps" spelled backwards.


Did you know that your province is has an official sweatshop free purchasing policy? It can be read about here.

Bre