so i've been thinking lately what i would do if God was leading me to become buddhist. or islamic. or something. and how truly terrifying that would be. because i have been so trained that Christianity is the right way . . . the only way . . . that we have a monopoly on truth, and that if you turn aaway from this, I will burn. Not that i don't quite think this is completly untrue . . . i don't know. but just consider that. its been a struggle and a joy to try and follow God completly, wherever that may lead and wherever that leads. WHEREVER. Should not my commitment to following God supercede my strongly held beliefs that I have it "right?" If my commitment to God is foremost, should not logically (don't laugh, Janie) my commitment to Christianity itself is secondary? Yet it would be hard. and terrifying. And I have consistently been challenged and struggling to fit my evolving relationship with God and who I understand him to be into my largely right wing fundamental Christian upbringing. The two Gods seem incomparable, at least at this moment. And then it makes me wonder how strong my faith truly is. What am I committed to? To the Christian idea of God, or to God? To following my comfort level, or to following where he is leading me?
I can imagine that many people could (would, are) reading this and am a tad worried about my salvation. Please read this without any preconceived ideas. That is not where I am going, nor where I feel God is leading. But I need to consider the possibility that this is where the future will go. The focus on this sentence should be on consider, not possibility. this is so hard to explain without sounding like i am going to become a Buddhist Tibetan monk. But my commitment to God should be so strong that I would be willing to give up everything, including my religion, correct?
Perhaps my F or P friends think that I am just being stupid, 'cause this would never happen. But think about it. Think about giving up Christianity to become a Muslim. Think of what this would mean in terms of friends, family. Going completly against the inner beliefs that have been drilled into you regarding salvation. That would be terrifying. To suddenly have to not believe the truth of the Bible, or to not believe that Christ is part of the triune God. Scary. But this is what we ask so many people of so many other faiths to do to follow Christ. This has impacted me a lot lately. That converting to Christianity does not only mean perhaps leaving family, persecution, being shunned by friends, being fired from your job, being pushed into a lower social class, but also rejecting everything that you have been taught from a child about salvation. terrifying. to not be able to take hold of the basic soul insurance policy that you had been brought up with in whatever religion you were raised in.