Thursday, November 17, 2005

ponderings

so i've been thinking lately what i would do if God was leading me to become buddhist. or islamic. or something. and how truly terrifying that would be. because i have been so trained that Christianity is the right way . . . the only way . . . that we have a monopoly on truth, and that if you turn aaway from this, I will burn. Not that i don't quite think this is completly untrue . . . i don't know. but just consider that. its been a struggle and a joy to try and follow God completly, wherever that may lead and wherever that leads. WHEREVER. Should not my commitment to following God supercede my strongly held beliefs that I have it "right?" If my commitment to God is foremost, should not logically (don't laugh, Janie) my commitment to Christianity itself is secondary? Yet it would be hard. and terrifying. And I have consistently been challenged and struggling to fit my evolving relationship with God and who I understand him to be into my largely right wing fundamental Christian upbringing. The two Gods seem incomparable, at least at this moment. And then it makes me wonder how strong my faith truly is. What am I committed to? To the Christian idea of God, or to God? To following my comfort level, or to following where he is leading me?

I can imagine that many people could (would, are) reading this and am a tad worried about my salvation. Please read this without any preconceived ideas. That is not where I am going, nor where I feel God is leading. But I need to consider the possibility that this is where the future will go. The focus on this sentence should be on consider, not possibility. this is so hard to explain without sounding like i am going to become a Buddhist Tibetan monk. But my commitment to God should be so strong that I would be willing to give up everything, including my religion, correct?

Perhaps my F or P friends think that I am just being stupid, 'cause this would never happen. But think about it. Think about giving up Christianity to become a Muslim. Think of what this would mean in terms of friends, family. Going completly against the inner beliefs that have been drilled into you regarding salvation. That would be terrifying. To suddenly have to not believe the truth of the Bible, or to not believe that Christ is part of the triune God. Scary. But this is what we ask so many people of so many other faiths to do to follow Christ. This has impacted me a lot lately. That converting to Christianity does not only mean perhaps leaving family, persecution, being shunned by friends, being fired from your job, being pushed into a lower social class, but also rejecting everything that you have been taught from a child about salvation. terrifying. to not be able to take hold of the basic soul insurance policy that you had been brought up with in whatever religion you were raised in.

wow.

5 comments:

stink said...

brina, you suprise me all the time with all your random deep thoughts...i love you so much for that...you have a way of always getting me to think. thanks for that. call me sometime...i miss you roomie...

Lori said...

deep thoughts by Bre.....sometimes your deep thoughts feel too deep, like they are dragging me into a scary abyss, but if I don't get too scared to hear you out, to let you complete your thought I am left amazed at your passion and your strength that leads you to go that deep. Your wicked scary Bre but that's a good thing...thx for making me uncomfortable with my shallowness.

JAnie & DAve said...

Hi Bre,
No worries, i didn't laugh! Good ponderance (probably not a word, but who says i am not entitled to make up words!). So if you though God was leading you to be buddhist, wouldn't that be a different God leading you there, and not Yaweh. Could God the Father of Christ ever lead you to deny Christ and follow another 'truth' without also leading you away from HIM.? And thus you would no longer be following Yaweh, and your devotion to God would be lost, even though you were intending to be as devoted as you could. That's what i thought while reading your words. But i also see that you are already thinking that yes indeed that would mean denying Christ. But again, i think you would be switching over God's somewhere in the transition of religions. So who do you want to follow and is the leader of the faiths the same God? God definately claims to be the Truth, and all that is true is him... so, as you were asking, is there not some truth within other faiths that would entitle Christians to condiser adopting other writings of truth besides just the Bible?! Well Bre, hope i put some more wood on your fire! Take it easy you thinker you!

JAnie & DAve said...

I was looking at your links: Walmart page and Buy nothing christmas. The walmart page is a little crazy. I was reading the 'blog comments' and people sure do argue and fight with each other, and you really can tell who knows the dirt and who has been brainwashed. Neat link though, i will have to keep on top of walmart stuff.. maybe i will be a political activities after all.
The christmas one: i love that idea, but what always stops me is the this: i know gifts are not tit for tat, but i always feel that if i choose to buy nothing for christmas, i also shouldn't get anything for christmas. What do you think? Are you doing buy nothing christmas? How will you feel when people give you something and you receive lots of things without giving. I sorta don't know what to do about this one issue. Are you going to ask people to buy you nothing for Christmas? Again, i love the idea, but that thought always comes to mind "well, won't i be nice and greedy as i get and don't give." but i guess that is "consumer christmas" speaking loudly in my mind because there are other ways to 'give' love and special things to people: goats, chickens, a meal, time together, something homemade, etc... anyway, tell me what you think of my 'greedy' issue k? (again, not that i expect people to give me something just because i have given them something, but i suppose i am assuming that people will expect me to give them something just because they have given me something.. why must i assume other people are shallow?)

JAnie & DAve said...

Okay, so BRe complains about us not posting new blogs, but the last time she wrote anything on here was Nov 17. Geez! Come on, Bre, get the ball rollin' here!
-D