Monday, December 21, 2009

christmas = anxiety

so i volunteered to put together some sort of service/ritual for our ever increasingly interfaith family - our traditional christmas eve service just isn't going to work anymore.

and i was excited about putting something together, something meaningful, which can really bring us all together in some sort of way. something short and special. mom's really into the idea, and is trusting me to put together something fantastic.

But my problem is that my brain is tired, and i am also nervous about putting my heart out there again, for fear that this whole thing will turn into a laughable chore.

faith discourse has been a tricky thing in our family the last few years; what i find most difficult about it is the lack of support which often creeps up for everybody's individual faith journeys. discourse often turns into debate turns into hurt feelings turns into further frustration. but at the same time it holds so much potential.

so i am hopeful about the potential of this little exercise, but also am aware of how my spirit might be crushed in this process. i would like to offer something as a gift, and fear that its just not going to fly or be respected. my stomach hurts.

anxiety. all over. we'll see how it goes i guess.


Zac said...

Praying about this! Hoping it will be life-giving for you and the fam.

Anonymous said...

:0) you are so right.

Sabrina said...

Would love to hear how things all panned out in the end.

Mary said...

Me too, Sabrina. How did it go, Bre? A wise person told me that, once you put your sermon/teaching/faith perspective "out there" it no longer belongs to you. YOu have given it away and God alone can bring it life in the hearts of others. Sometimes easier to say....