so i volunteered to put together some sort of service/ritual for our ever increasingly interfaith family - our traditional christmas eve service just isn't going to work anymore.
and i was excited about putting something together, something meaningful, which can really bring us all together in some sort of way. something short and special. mom's really into the idea, and is trusting me to put together something fantastic.
But my problem is that my brain is tired, and i am also nervous about putting my heart out there again, for fear that this whole thing will turn into a laughable chore.
faith discourse has been a tricky thing in our family the last few years; what i find most difficult about it is the lack of support which often creeps up for everybody's individual faith journeys. discourse often turns into debate turns into hurt feelings turns into further frustration. but at the same time it holds so much potential.
so i am hopeful about the potential of this little exercise, but also am aware of how my spirit might be crushed in this process. i would like to offer something as a gift, and fear that its just not going to fly or be respected. my stomach hurts.
anxiety. all over. we'll see how it goes i guess.