i thought this so beautiful . . .

Guilt

The man behind me in the checkoutline has but one item, so even though I'm racing to meet a print deadline, I wave him to the front. He shuffles past the display of chocolate bars and bottles of fruit spritzers to the till, and drops a largely empty bag of quick oats on the scale. As I finish unloading my shopping cart, I hear him fumbling for change.

"Just add it to my bill," I tell the cashier, impatient.

The oat-buyer thanks me.

"Don't mention it," I say, and am vindicated to see the oats ring in at 25 cents, well worth the time saved.

He continues to express thanks, thanks that are out of proportion to my unsolicited generosity. For teh first time, I look at him rather than his purchase. I look at him, I don't comprehend, my stomach clenches. His arms are the diameter of his bones; beneath tightly stretched skin there is scant sign of flesh. Our eyes meet and he nods, perhaps he smiles. Cane and oats grasped in the same hand, he maneuvers his skeletal frame out othe door.

"That guy comes in every couple of days," the cashier says, interrupting my staring. "He buys a cupful or two of some staple food from our bulk bins. His tab rarely breaks a dollar."

I wish the oat-buyer's bag had been full. I wish he'd suddenly pulled out from behind his back a basket loaded with food for a week, a basket representative of all the food groups in the Canada's Foog Guide. I would invite him to put it all on my bill, who cares about the hurry I'm in, or the cost, this man urgently needs to eat, and eat more than oats.


A question from Michael Moore's latest movie, Sicko, echoes in my mind. What have we become, if, in one of the wealthiest socieities of all time, we are unable to show solidarity to those most in need? I don't know what ails this very conservative shopper. But I do know I can't feel good about my society, when a sick man is only able to buy oats, one cup at a time.

- Tom Green
As appears in Adbusters #74 November/December 2007

Year o'Plenty . . . Sabbaths

May 12th began my exciting “Year of Sabbath.”

This last year has been especially intense in terms of my schedule – I found it difficult and disheartening trying to balance work, my university class, as well as my numerous volunteer commitments. I slowly let go of my large volunteer commitments one by one so that I would be able to walk my talk and live the simple life I have been talking about for so long.

My plan this year is to not take on any extreme volunteer commitments. I can push a broom, or drive people around, but nothing which entails leadership or responsibility for a group or event.

The purpose of this year is threefold. First, to rest. It feels like I have been on overdrive for the last number of years, ever since working with a small church plant. There have been some moments this past year where I thought I was going to crack, and it really wore on my soul. Rest is important.

Second, to explore. To take the careful and intentional time to explore myself in different ways – time to have new experiences, meaningful conversations, to invest in a number of different relationships. I am so blessed with wonderful people in my life, but it got to the point where I was not able to invest in them, and was not able to allow them to invest in me because things were so busy. I had to schedule in a weekly Sabbath – evening off – in my house, or else I would never be home. Even now I struggle with having time to be home and to be still. But the year just started . . . I’ll figure this out!

Finally, to allow God to move in ways which I have not allowed him to move before. Through nudgings, conversations, God-moments on portage or in the park. It is difficult to listen to God speaking through the wind when you are too busy to take a walk outside. I have not been leaving room for God to move in my life in unexpected ways. And I want to do that. I want to be His daughter and His servant. And both of those entail taking time to just be. So refreshing!

I look forward to being.

To continuing this wild journey . . .
Bre

Beautiful.

What a life-changing week. I feel so refreshed, encouraged, challenged, confused, joyful.

Spent this week at SCM Canada’s yearly conference. Such a dynamic mix of people – people from all different backgrounds of faith, life choices, life un-choices, perspectives. The first few days I was unsure of how I really fit into this group – I struggled with feeling somewhat disconnected from the group due to my more evangelical-leaning background and passions. But by about the third day we were all so bonded together. It was truly a dynamic community. We laughed and cried together, expressed joys and pains. Supported one another, learned and were challenged by one another. I feel so blessed to have been part of this community. Conference was over on Sunday and I definitely feel the loss of not seeing these exceptional people anymore.

I am so happy. So many good things. So many surprising things. Surprising relationships, surprising friendships, surprising revelations about myself and how I fit into this world and how my faith fits in with Christ. Surprising questions (VERY surprising!) about who I am and where I fit and about my beliefs about a number of issues.

I am happy. Thanks muchly to everybody who impacted me this week . . . you know who you are. Thanks for your love and support and patience with my moments of ugliness. And thanks being stellar T-Rex’s and pirates. You're so cool.

Thanks, SCM-ers. I’ve been changed. And I think I like it.

Up, Off, and Away

I am off to Halifax! So won't be posting until I get back - I will return May 12th.

Here's a little something to tide you over:

Rapture Wreaks Havoc On Local Book Club

I thought it amusing.

Bre

another fake Onion newsclip . . . raises some good questions of corporate sponsorship.


Home Depot Honors Fallen Soldier By Giving His Mom Free Power Drill

A lighter note . . .

"To be born, or at any rate, BRED in a handbag (whether it has handles or not) seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life."
-Lady Bracknell, The Importance of Being Earnest

perhaps a bit too honest

So . . . she’s ok. Mom was involved in a car accident last week. A young man was turning left in front of her and thought that if he gunned it he could make it through the intersection in time. He was wrong, and smashed into her buick – hard – right near the front left tire.

She’s pretty bruised, but no broken bones or anything. They released her from the hospital after a few hours. She is very sore, and has lots of colorful bruises. It could have been worse – I feel very thankful.

But I also feel very angry.

Forgiveness is not an easy thing. I harbour great resentment and anger towards this man who unnecessarily caused pain to my mom. It was such a senseless and stupid collision.

I believe in the power and necessity of forgiveness. Everyday in my Mennonite workplace I hear of stories of forgiveness and reconciliation, of both wonderful and terrible things happening in this world because of the existence of or refusal of forgiveness.

I truly believe that humans can get nowhere without the presence of forgiveness. I believe that I screw up lots and am thankful for the forgiveness offered to me for those sins from Christ. I believe that living a life of grace and peace is essential to our well being.

But this guy has really pissed me off.

So I am struggling with forgiving this stranger whom I have never met. I know I must. Living with anger like this is not healthy, and in order to live a life of grace and of hope in the future I must forgive this dude.

This really makes me think and consider places where there has been countless atrocities against humans– acts which aren’t even comparable to this or anything else I have ever experienced. My mom will be ok. I haven’t watched somebody murder my child, or have witnessed my family being burned alive. In the grand scheme of terrible acts, this isn’t among the worst.

Yet even with this I am truly struggling to forgive this man. I can’t imagine how this battle would be for those who have had unspeakable acts committed against themselves or their loved ones. I can’t imagine the strength needed to forgive a person in these cases. I don’t think that I have it. It makes me truly think about how much work there is to do, and how deep these hurts are, in conflicts such as the Israel-Palestine conflict where there is such an intense and painful history of bloodshed on both sides.

I know there are people actively working for peace and reconciliation in these areas, and I know that there are some amazing individuals who have been able to stand up and forgive offenders in situations like this. That’s cool.

So I know my place and I know what I must do. But I’ll struggle with it for awhile, and perhaps there are some learnings here for me. In my struggle and my calling to become more Christ-like, this seems to be my next hurdle. It might take awhile, but with Christ’s help I’ll clear this one. And then see what’s next in store.

Bre

Give your sorrow all the space and shelter in yourself that is its due, for if everyone bears [their] grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do not clear a decent shelter for your sorrow, and instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge - from which new sorrorws will be born for others - then sorrow will never cease in this world and will multiply.
--Etty Hillesum
quoted in Marc Ellis, "Toward a Jewish Theology of Liberation"

Cannes Lions

Went to the commercial awards last night. Here are my top picks.

Blessed. Like, lots.

Thanks to all of the manly men, womenly women, cute children, family members, cars, trucks, gas emissions, pizza picker-uppers, and everything else which helped with my last-minute move this weekend.

Never did I imagine so many people would come to my aid with only 48 hours notice! Even more surprising was the commitment of the kitchen unpackers.

Thanks to all. I am humbled and touched by your help. I am blessed by your love, large muscles, and giving spirits.

I am officially in Old St. Vital, with a rose-colored living room carpet. Sweet.

Going Gren Fair

Saturday April 19, 1:00-4:00 pm at Crestivew United Church, 316 Hamilton Ave.

1:15 – Free Organic Lawn Care Workshop by Manitoba Eco-Network.

2:30 – Free Composting Workshop by Resource Conservation Manitoba. Free Admission. Proceeds to Neighbours Helping Neighbours.

Sweet-o-rama.

White House Press Secretary Spins Wife's Tragic Death As a Positive

somewhat offensive, but a good commentary on politics.


White House Press Secretary Spins Wife2019s Tragic Death As A Positive

Amusing. And propaganda-ish. In a good way.

Winnipeg to dim lights for Earth Hour

Have you heard of Earth Hour? It's a campaign - worldwide - to turn off all lights for one hour on March 29th. Why?

According to the EarthHour Website, EarthHour is
"A global climate change initiative which calls on individuals and businesses around the world, to turn off their lights for one hour on Saturday March 29 2008 between 8 pm and 9pm.
The aim of the campaign is to express that individual action on a mass scale can help change our planet for the better.
The event itself will clearly demonstrate in participating cities, the connection between energy usage and climate change, showing that we as broader community can address the biggest threat our planet has ever faced.

The campaign started in Sydney and 2 million individuals and businesses participated. this year it's going global.

What I like about this campaign is that everyone is working together, showing that they will take a stand and actually do something tangible. A small commitment, symbolic of bigger commitments, I think.

Winnipeg is doing it. I'm doing it. What about you? Do you think it's a dumb idea?

Some Links:

Winnipeg's participation
Earth Hour Website
Kairos' Re-Energize Campaign
Plus, check out this Earth Hour Order of Service. Cool idea. Anyone interested in marking the occasion with a little prayer? It'll be dark . . .

Clean With Food!

Click here for some info on how to clean without chemicals!

hmm...

The Psalms defy our notions of profane and sacred, proving that everything we feel, witness, do unto others, and have done to us is acceptable subject matter for conversing with the Divine. They invite us to bring every part of ourselves into our houses of worship. If we omit expressions of faith lost, of rage, of disdain, and of the desire for revenge, we leave parts of ourselves at the door.
-Kari Jo Verhulst

Where greenliness is next to . . .

Check out this article

close . . . but still so far away

copyright 2007 Zadie Klassen Productions

a new low in lameness

Yay!

In the spirit of crappy Facebook plug-ins, it’s time to play “Which Star Trek Character are you?”

1. It is mating season. You . . .
a. Go crazy and try to kill your captain ‘cause you think he wants your chick
b. Get bitten on your face by your sexy lady
c. Procreation of the human species is inefficient.
d. Dammit, Jim. I am a doctor not a sex therapist!

2. You are fighting an enemy. You . . .
a. Pinch him on the neck
b. Cut off his head with a bat’leh
c. Assimilate him. Oh, wait. You don’t do that anymore.
d. He’s dead, Jim.

3. It is supper time. You would enjoy
a. Anything that doesn’t involve animal flesh
b. A bowl of live worms
c. An efficient pill which contains all daily nutritional requirements.
d. Fried Chicken.


Answer: If you're still reading this, you truly are a geek. Congratulations. Let's celebrate together by watching 2001: A Space Odyssey.